cattailsquilts

No, you're not nuts. The first quilt I ever made was a Christmas gift for my grandma. She loved the heck out of it, and it was always on her couch or recliner. When her heath declined, it and the pillow I cross-stitched for her always went with her to the hospital or respite home. When she passed last October, my 16 y/o cousin wanted them buried with her, because she treasured them so much. I thought long & hard about it, but couldn't part with them, so now they are back with me, and my cousin can come visit them.

Butterflyblue

I recognize those blocks from 501 Quilt Blocks! I have always thought a cat quilt using those would be cool, and I really like yours.

brwnntwn

I am SURE that you are right! I do wish she would use it though so all the love and hugs I put into every stitch would hold her everytime! She pretty much raised me as our mother worked (back in the day when widows did not get jobs they got new husbands) I have told her that - and she says she might after her cats have passed on as she does not want them to, well --- they are old cats. Thank you so much for your amazing insite!

dar627742

i,too learned the hard way! my late dh & i had only been married 2-3 yrs when i decided to make all handmade gifts for xmas.i made full-length robes w/emb.on sleees,down the front ,neck& hemline, for mil,sils.made shirts for fil,bil,etc.when my in-laws opened their gifts,they didn't even take garments out to look at them !!they unfolded the tissue,said "oh ' & pushed them aside. needless to say,i never made them another gift .i'd spent MOS.on these gifts,was SO hurt!. dh tried,he kept saying"dar MADE all those" you live & learn

angieh1964

i love your kitty quilt and my son would love it too i want to make him one that has as he says "kittehs" on it but they are always so girly he would love this nice job

amandasgramma

I know how you feel. I believe people that aren't crafty have no idea. They think we play (like we're making mud pies) they're right...but it's STILL taking talent and money to do it! Years ago I was into stained glass. I gave my mother a panel. It took me nights and weekends to get it done. She held it up and said "um hum" and looked at her husband and said "what do you think". He said "yeah"....and they set it aside and never said a word to me!!! It took them 6 yrs to hang it. My kids have gotten SG panels and I've seen them broken or, in one case, saw it hanging in the garage -- and then after the next move, it disappeared. I NEVER made another glass piece for anyone else again.
As for my quilts --- I'm giving them to grandkids when they move out on their own, I'll never look back, and I don't expect thank - you cards, because I'll never get them....no sense sweating it! I'll sell the rest! Or enjoy them myself!

zz-pd

When my MIL was alive, and I would make her something, I would never see it, after it was gifted. We are talking about 27 yrs ago. I made my husbands Aunt a basket with lace and beads, and she still has that basket, and now uses it for wash cloths in her camper. I was so amazed that she still had it, and was still using it, after all these years. I will if I have time, make her a quilt someday. God bless.

ginnyk

This has been a most interesting thread. It helps to heal wounds in the heart to be able to talk about it with others who understand. I have been trying to grasp the larger picture of what this might be teaching us. I will speak in first person because it applies to me.

When I give a large expensive gift, do I set up the feeling in the recipient that they somehow owe me for something so great - a debt they can never repay?

Have I set up a situation in a family where everyone has to fulfill my expectations for this gift for the rest of my life in order to make me happy?

Have I given them something that imposes my decorating colors and style on a younger person who would rather not have an older relative decide the decor of their room? (Especially a DIL)

Did I stop and consider that another generation might feel entirely different about "homemade" and not even stop to realize it? Depression prints can mean different things to different generations.

Most importantly, have I set up a situation where I expect someone to build my self-esteem and hope to receive love and appreciation and worst of all, guilt?

With so much time, energy, heart and money invested in our projects, I feel that answering these questions for myself is important. Been there, got the tattered t-shirts. I really appreciate reading all of your experiences, and my heart aches for all the pain. I think it simply boils down to the fact that the joy has to be in the creation. We have a wonderful opportunity for feedback from each other - those who REALLY can appreciate the effort and art. Anything we receive from the recipient is just gravy. Maybe it is part of learning how to love unconditionally.

Now to get back to my three kittens who have just managed to pull everything down from my design board.

Butterflyblue

Virginia Smith - I think you have some good points there.

I know when I make handmade gifts, I do it in part for the praise I get. I like to "show off". I really hate it when the recipient doesn't open the gift in front of me.

And I did realize at some point when I was younger that some of my handmade gifts did not take into account the taste of the recipient. They were more about what I wanted to make, not what they wanted to receive. Now I am much more careful to think about what colors/style a person likes for their clothing and environment before I give them something and expect that they will love and appreciate it.

I do hate it when I read stories about someone presenting a gift quilt to a loved one, and the person says, "Oh, I don't like this, but I would love a quilt that's X Y Z..." That to me is unpardonable manners.

CraftsByRobin

Maybe the mother requested it be buried with her? I see both sides on this one ... not much help am I?