What I figured out last Christmas...
08-31-2010, 09:19 AM
#181
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Dennison Ohio
Posts: 401
Originally Posted by Mimito2
Years ago (25) when my DS's were small DH nieces and nephews were the same ages I made them flannel quilts for Christmas. Parents acted like I was being cheap. The kids would not let anyone else in the house touch them! They carried them around with them everywhere they went. On one trip they happened upon a car accident, There were children involved and it was very cold and snowing. They gave the quilts to the kids to comfort them. They were afraid when they told me that I would be angry that they had given them away. I promptly replaced them with new ones. Kids got "it" parents never did and they never got anything I made.
09-05-2010, 05:41 AM
#182
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: adelaide, south australia
Posts: 211
I know what u mean also. I made a lap quilt for my best friends daughter, then a few years later i attended their garage sale and they had it out to sell. I took it back and now wonder what they did with all the other things ivew made and given them, embroidery, silk embroidery, paper tole and folk art that took me a long time to do. Ive also thought what other people have done with my handmade gifts and wonder if theyve got rid of them. I told all my family that if they ever want to move on what ive made them to give it back so i could pass it on to my own kids. That really hurt.
09-05-2010, 06:13 AM
#183
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Nevada
Posts: 581
I made my MIL a Bow Tucks with bright sunflowers knowing she would never carry it. :)
She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the end of May and gven 2 monhs to live. Went to see her at the June and when I told her I made her something, her shoulders dropped, her eyes lit up and she had the biggest smile on her face. She absolutly loved it and said it would hold all her things. She stayed in the hospital another 3 weeks and went home for her last few weeks never leaving the house.
So there you have it. Made something for someone that I knew would never use and happy to have done it.
She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the end of May and gven 2 monhs to live. Went to see her at the June and when I told her I made her something, her shoulders dropped, her eyes lit up and she had the biggest smile on her face. She absolutly loved it and said it would hold all her things. She stayed in the hospital another 3 weeks and went home for her last few weeks never leaving the house.
So there you have it. Made something for someone that I knew would never use and happy to have done it.
09-05-2010, 06:26 AM
#184
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Meriden, CT
Posts: 96
Originally Posted by cizzors
I made my MIL a Bow Tucks with bright sunflowers knowing she would never carry it. :)
She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the end of May and gven 2 monhs to live. Went to see her at the June and when I told her I made her something, her shoulders dropped, her eyes lit up and she had the biggest smile on her face. She absolutly loved it and said it would hold all her things. She stayed in the hospital another 3 weeks and went home for her last few weeks never leaving the house.
So there you have it. Made something for someone that I knew would never use and happy to have done it.
She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the end of May and gven 2 monhs to live. Went to see her at the June and when I told her I made her something, her shoulders dropped, her eyes lit up and she had the biggest smile on her face. She absolutly loved it and said it would hold all her things. She stayed in the hospital another 3 weeks and went home for her last few weeks never leaving the house.
So there you have it. Made something for someone that I knew would never use and happy to have done it.
09-05-2010, 06:56 AM
#185
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Chester, AR
Posts: 99
We've talked about this for quite a while. IMO, our motivation for giving a gift has to be for the joy we receive from the creation of that gift. We should be able to give our quilts, or anything else for that matter, without attachment. If we build our hopes on the expectation that someone else is going to make us feel good, give us love, appreciation and admiration, we are setting ourselves up for a letdown. The fact that they do appreciate our gifts, talent and labor is a bonus, just as love itself is.
I have to ask, how would l like to be saddled with the responsibility of taking care of a gift that really did not fit my taste, nor decor. (Like a kitten) Knowing that I had to care for it for the rest of my life and then be sure that my children did also, could become a task. It would be easy to pack it carefully and put it on a shelf to protect it and leave it for future generations to care for. I would be concerned that if I displayed it and used it, that it could become worn and damaged and could thus offend the giver.
On the other hand, not using it could also offend. As givers, we have expressed dismay with both of these outcomes. It seems to me that what we should take away from this very enlightening thread is that when we give something that is so much of ourselves, that we are very clear with our recipient and ourselves just what we expect from this exchange. Otherwise, a gift that was given in the best of intentions can result in hard feelings for many years to come. Our art is our joy and it would be a shame to let a misunderstanding spoil that. :)
I have to ask, how would l like to be saddled with the responsibility of taking care of a gift that really did not fit my taste, nor decor. (Like a kitten) Knowing that I had to care for it for the rest of my life and then be sure that my children did also, could become a task. It would be easy to pack it carefully and put it on a shelf to protect it and leave it for future generations to care for. I would be concerned that if I displayed it and used it, that it could become worn and damaged and could thus offend the giver.
On the other hand, not using it could also offend. As givers, we have expressed dismay with both of these outcomes. It seems to me that what we should take away from this very enlightening thread is that when we give something that is so much of ourselves, that we are very clear with our recipient and ourselves just what we expect from this exchange. Otherwise, a gift that was given in the best of intentions can result in hard feelings for many years to come. Our art is our joy and it would be a shame to let a misunderstanding spoil that. :)
09-05-2010, 02:15 PM
#186
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 835
I too have been following this thread with mixed feelings and I heartily agree with your observations ginnyk, I make quilts and all the other crafts I enjoy doing just for that, joy of creating. I also love to give gifts.
I give the things I create away for many reasons though mainly because if I didn't then I would surely need a room or shed just to house them in for storage and because when I give a gift I like it to be more personal.
I like to think they both like the gift and will use it so always tell them that if they like the gift then use it, that is what it was made for and if they find it no longer suits their tastes or they no longer have a use for it then pass it on because I would rather what ever I made be used then stored away. Once I have passed them on, I let them go.
Yes the real joy for me is in the making and giving and what happens after that is of little concern, for myself I treasure everything and so will display it and use it because that is who I am. Isn't it wonderful that we are all so different?
Maybe1day :)
I give the things I create away for many reasons though mainly because if I didn't then I would surely need a room or shed just to house them in for storage and because when I give a gift I like it to be more personal.
I like to think they both like the gift and will use it so always tell them that if they like the gift then use it, that is what it was made for and if they find it no longer suits their tastes or they no longer have a use for it then pass it on because I would rather what ever I made be used then stored away. Once I have passed them on, I let them go.
Yes the real joy for me is in the making and giving and what happens after that is of little concern, for myself I treasure everything and so will display it and use it because that is who I am. Isn't it wonderful that we are all so different?
Maybe1day :)
09-05-2010, 03:03 PM
#187
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 895
I haven't read this whole thread, but I think I get the idea of why it started. We do work hard and put alot of love into our gifts. I like others have scaled back my list of recipients at Christmas. I have a few special friends and family that I will still give to. This year I am going to fill bow tucks totes with cookies, etc. Knowing that not all of my friends and family may like that type of bag, I am enclosing a note with each bag. My note will read something like this.....If this bag is not your cup of tea, please find a special woman in your life and share it with her. I know they all have a special aunt, neighbor, grandmother, or friend that they could share it with. I am not sure how it will go, but I will let you know. Good Luck with all your gifts....Laura
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