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Thread: When people don't appear grateful for the quilt they are given...

  1. #51
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    A friend of mine and myself made a quilt for a mutual friend. It was a TOTAL surprise to her. It is a big queen size. My friend did all the terrific quilting on her Janome 6500. Great job and she was ecstatic! It looks great on her bed.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by tdvxh
    I made a wall hanging for my step-daughter and her husband about 5 years ago. I have never seen it since. I had their names on it so they can't gift it to someone else. I often wonder where it is but don't want to ask. Needless to say, they won't get another one.
    I'm with you on this one. I made my DD and her DH a wall hanging for Christmas two years ago. Saw it only folded up on an end table covered with other 'stuff' Then one day it was gone. I looked for it - hoping! Then I found it----- on a table with lots of other stuff, in their yard sale!
    I had also made them a large casserole dish carrier complete with an insert for a large spoon. I figured they would use it since they attend a lot of pot lucks at their church. Last week I was at DD's mil's with the kids and others for a dinner. DD mil mentioned she couldn't find her casserole dish carrier. DD asked if it was blue, because she had a blue one at her house and didn't know where it came from! EXCUSE ME?????? Needless to say when my son in law tells me they don't have a quilt from me yet (and he has a couple of times) I just tell him that they haven't given me their colors yet. And so far they haven't given me their colors, nor pattern.

  3. #53
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    [quote=plainpat]When DH's Grmother died, we found stacks of Christmas gifts, including a red half slip she'd said she'd always wanted.All were in boxes....what a sad thing. After that,I got over any "too good to use" thoughts I'd ever had.

    My GM was the same....every gift was up in her attic in the original box, saved for another day.

  4. #54
    Super Member Mad Mimm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazeljane
    When I make a quilt for a wedding or a baby quilt for folks I don't know well, i always send a note that says, in part:
    " I make my quilts to be used. If this quilt is not to your taste, please feel free to pass it along to someone who might enjoy and use it. "

    I would rather have them passed along than crammed in a closet for 20 years.
    I totally agree!! If I make something that just isn't right for the person I give it to, I would rather they pass it on to someone who will use it and enjoy it than hide it in their closet and whip it out when they know I am coming for a visit!

  5. #55
    Super Member Mad Mimm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sixfootroad
    Amen to seeing your gift used ~ no matter what it is. It speaks more than words can say ~ until you see your "gift" being used to cover the dirty motorcycle that is strapped into the back of the pickup truck! There were plenty of words said for that, but fortunately nobody else heard them!
    I should have qualified my statement. "used lovingly" would be more like it. I can only imagine the potty mouth I would have if I saw my quilt slung over a dirty motorcycle or in the bottom of a dog's bed!

  6. #56
    Senior Member Born2Sew's Avatar
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    I made a Jeff Gordan quilt for my grandson for his birthday.
    With the left-over fabric I made matching curtains for him.

    The quilt was all folded up on the kitched table and my daughter told him he needed to get it and put it on his bed.

    He said, Oh no! Grandma made that. It's one of those keep sake things, that you put up and don't use, ever! It's special!

    I thought it was so precious of him to think that much of it. I assured him that it was "safe" to use it. So, it's now on his bed.

  7. #57
    Super Member Mad Mimm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CircleSquare
    I only read the first page of comments to this thread, but here are my thoughts:
    First, yes, it's nice to know your labor of love is appreciated. But I don't do all that work just to get a thank you. The time spent working on a quilt is time loving the recipient. That love is unconditional. It doesn't depend on their thanks. And no matter what their reaction to the gift, I still had the incredible joy of making it. That's my reward.
    That is a GREAT attitude and truly encompasses the spirit of giving! I think sometimes people feel that the way a gift is received is reflective of the recipient's feelings about THEM and not their gift. (Could I have written that sentence more confusingly??) :-D

  8. #58
    Super Member cabbagepatchkid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sailsablazin
    Quote Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
    Quote Originally Posted by Glassquilt
    I don't give as much credence to gushy thank you-s spoken at showers as to the facial expressions & body language. I very much prefer to see the item used.
    Agreed... a funny story about my stepdaughters baby shower on Sunday...I heard that her aunt or great aunt, I don't know which was complaining to my mother in law (who is in the hospital and didn't attend) how she thought they were NEVER going to finish opening gifts, because after she opened them, she held up each item to show and then had to put each thing away/fold etc....I am scratching my head over this, because I don't know what the alternate option would be? Open, fling on floor, tear into next gift, and no one gets to see?

    If the poor girl had carried on over gifts more than she did (a reasonable excitement over the THIRD bottle brush) we'd STILL be there!!


    I did attend a bridal shower where they set up an assembly line (literally) with bridesmaids opening the gift, handed gift to bride, bride said, "How nice", then next bridesmaid shoved card back into bag and stacked them. The bride never opened a box or showed anything off. I was never so disappointed. It was like they were trying to get out of there with the loot as fast as they could.
    Well, at least they opened the presents! My kids have been to elementary aged birthday parties, lately, and it seems to have become the "norm" for the kids to not even open the presents until after everyone has gone home :shock: :shock: :shock:

  9. #59
    Super Member LivelyLady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hazeljane
    My thought is that not everyone likes quilts. And more so, not everyone likes every quilt. I love love love to look at the photos here, but I do not love all the quilts- some are just not my style.

    When I make a quilt for a wedding or a baby quilt for folks I don't know well, i always send a note that says, in part:
    " I make my quilts to be used. If this quilt is not to your taste, please feel free to pass it along to someone who might enjoy and use it. "

    I would rather have them passed along than crammed in a closet for 20 years.
    You made a great point that everyone has different tastes in patterns and color selections. From now on if I'm making a quilt for a gift, I'll check first to see their preference on color and pattern :D

  10. #60
    Super Member KathyKat's Avatar
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    When I make a quilt for a gift I first ask " If I were to make you a quilt, which three colors would you like to see in it? Is there any color you hate?" I tell them they don't get to select the fabrics, pattern or size of quilt although some offer their opinion any way, lol. That way I know that my gift will be something they like and will most likely use.

  11. #61
    Senior Member Dyan's Avatar
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    A friend of my daughters asked me to make a quilt for her boyfriend, it was a scrappy, I spy quilt, where she wrote some of their favorite sayings in some of the blocks. I embroidered the "M" for UofM. This was made with all conversation prints, that she picked out, they were 5x10 inches so like a brick quilt. Well he wrote me a wonderful thank you letter, on how wonderful the quilt was, how could I part with such a great quilt, and also let me know how it would be used and loved. He had in the letter that he was covered up in it as he wrote the letter. I cried when I read his letter.

    Now the saddest part, a few years they were traveling nurses, and went to California, she came home one day and he was dead (heart problem) in his late twenties. I could not get off work for the funeral and my daughter say "Mom be glad you didn't go" They had his quilt at the funeral home and talked about how much he loved it...

    Then his family took it home after the service which hurt his girlfriend who had paid me to make it, after a few months my daughter told that his family gave it back to her.

  12. #62
    Junior Member Lioness3xs's Avatar
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    I never expect to get high praise for one of my quilts when given in a large crowd. I'm make them for special people in my life. If they get one, they know they are special because I tell them this was made with love in honor of them. I also include the start and ending date. And if they think about it, they'll know I was blessing them for seveal weeks prior to the gifting.

  13. #63
    a regular here hazeljane's Avatar
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    I always strive to make quilts that I think will reflect the taste of the people I am making for. Sometimes I don't know them well.

    My brother Patrick is getting married to a woman I really like, but have only met twice. I was at their apartment briefly two years ago. Hmmm. So, I started making a turning twenty quilt I have been thinking about for a while. Somehow, it didn't seem right. I sent a photo of the quilt laid out, and then called.

    Patrick will love anything I make, but I really wanted Emily's opinion. It took me 20 minutes to get her to look at my quilts and give me some feedback. She finally confessed that she really loved my 1930's quilt, and loves the ones with white sashing. She felt so badly, and I corrected her- the other quilt will go to someone, or be raffled for a fund-raiser, but what I really want is to give them a quilt that THEY want.

    So I am having a ball making a 1930's quilt with white sashing that they can treasure and use.

    I also have to say again, I put my prayers and hopes for the recipient into the quilt. I also always tell them it is okay to pass it along if it is not to their taste. There is nothing wasted in my labor and intention- they are still there, and I want the quilt to be USED UP. Loved until it is in tatters. I don't make heirloom quilts. I make quilts to keep folks warm, body and soul.

  14. #64
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    I didn't get a thank you for one baby quilt I made until the baby was in her twenties. Then she mentioned how "she had loved it to pieces!" I can't wait until she has a baby so I can make another one.

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