Skittl1321

My feelings don't get hurt by how people choose to use my quilts, my heart just soars with joy if they are using them at all.

My dog has taken a personal interest in most all of my house quilts, so I can't complain when others do the same. She makes a beeline to any quilt she sees, it's pretty funny actually. I have a few quilts where I like the back more than the front, so if someone has a quilt folded "wrong" on the sofa, I usually assume they didn't pay attention to how they folded it- but I might think maybe the prefer my quilting to my piecing, either way, the quilt is out.

I made my nephew a baby quilt, and for 5-years, never once saw it. I figured it was never used, and had likely been donated- forgotten that it was a hand made speciality. Well, 5 years later my sister sends a picture of my nephews playing out in the snow. The new babies are laying on that old quilt. Yes, it was outside in dirty snow, but it was still in the house, and still loved by the recipients.

Once I give it away, I can no longer control it. But man, it sure does make me happy if I find out that the recipients do use it, and haven't hidden it away (or worse, given it away)

Sierra

" Would you want the person you gave a quilt to say right up front "Thanks but I really don't like this and give it back to you?"

Absolutely! As in the case of the raffle-won quilt, which I insisted upon taking back because it simply wasn't their style AND it they saw an awful face in it! I wrote about it on this thread. If they don't want the next (replacement) one, that's OK also, but I would like it back if they simply don't want it. They are wonderful people, just much more dignified and conservative than I am. Perhaps a shinny really puffy quilt is more their style... I don't know. But I love them and am trying to make one they will like.

If I didn't know someone so well I'd probably keep quiet... but family, extended or not, they can speak up, or if the grapevine message gets to me, I'll speak up. Why not?

tjradj

Why would my feelings be hurt?? When I give a quilt, it's not with strings attached. The recipient is free to use it as they please.

grandme26

I make my quilts to be used and not displayed. If that persons wants to display it fine, it is also fine to use it.

justme CA

What an interesting thread to read. It really tells so much about the folks on the Board and how they feel about the quilting. My little tale is this, I found a beautiful quilt top in the closet in a paper bag after my mother died. Some
years later when I went to the area of her birth and was writing about her I talked to relatives who told me about the top. It was made by my grandmother (Mother's mother) and I was named for her! So I became a quilter but had that top hand quilted by a person in Mom's birth area. It has faded badly but is still a memory of someone I never knew and who's daughter didn't care enough to even mention it.

I have written about both women and the quilt and written a poem about the quilt and how women are connected by threads of memory. My granddaughter will have the quilt eventually. Never underestimate the power of a quilt!

Greenheron

I'd rather NOT see my quilts on top of the bedding. Our households all have dogs now and permissive slobs that we are, the dogs are on the beds night/day and the JRT burrows under the covers. And once in a while they scratch up the covers to improve their nests.

No one likes to see unappreciated gifts, it shows lack of respect for the giver's feelings--hand work most of all, from a tot's scribbled crayon art, a kid's potholder, etc. to a grand quilt.

mary123

Justme CA,
I would love to see your poem about your grandmother's quilt posted here if you wouldn't mind sharing it.

margecam52

In 1989 or so, I did a swap on Prodigy (remember that forum/bulletin board? lol)...and got a lot of black/white fabrics. I decided I was going to take a piece of vintage red fabric w b/w tiny flowers on it and make a serged log cabin quilt. My son kept saying...ugh, it's dull, ugly, etc. By the time I put the borders on and was quilting it (on my old Kenmore)...he was telling everyone that it was HIS quilt. I gave it to him...he later went off to College, then when we moved to CA, and he came back home...he had a jet ski...had taken some classes & was a boat mechanic...so...he tells me he needs my help with a part..."It's really dellicate mom, and with my eyes, I need you to help get it out of the trailer cubby." Ok...didn't understand, but went get it out for him...that precious part for his jetski...it was all rolled up in the log cabin quilt! Greasy, and looked like it had torn in places...I gently unwound the quilt from the part and my son held the part in place while I put the screws in (I have smaller hands, have since Lon Jr was 4 years old...he's 6'4"+ now, a very tall man of 39)...he thanked me...and started to close the lid on his trailer cubby... I told him to give me the quilt, I had something better for wrapping parts...an old wool army blanket. I broke out every time I touched that thing.
On closer inspection of the log cabin quilt...it was not torn, the serger thread I used to quilt it was in tact...some of the fabrics (my favorites...had Bob Hope, James Cagney, Mae West, etc. on it) had disintegrated! Just left nice quilted rectangle holes where it used to be. I still have that quilt...never replaced the missing sections...I use it for family picnics as a table cloth, to sit on, etc.
My son said later he expected a lecture from me on the quilt's treatment. I said, "Nope, you loved that quilt to death, and when a nice soft protection was needed for that part..you used the quilt...it was an honor to see you still had it. It was made with fabrics that I had no idea of on the content...Yet, even after the pieces were gone, you didn't toss it."
I actually was proud he still kept the thing. Now, It's so worn, it's really ready to be tossed, but I'm gonna finish using it to death!

The fact that whoever uses the gift of a quilt, no matter how it's used...is an honor in itself...it could be in the back of a closet, or in the goodwill bin...just be glad it's there.

sewbizgirl

I think we all know that a gift belongs to the recipient once we give it away. (How obnoxious would we be if we showed up at their house to make sure it was being used the way we wanted it to be?) If it's hidden under other quilts, folded up in the back of the car, or kept on a closet shelf, it's pretty obvious they don't like looking at your quilt. At least they are making some sort of use out of it, but the question was "Are your feelings hurt?" and of course they are! We don't say this to them, but yes it hurts that they don't love your artistry as much as you hoped they would. It hurts. When a gift is underappreciated in this way, I make a FIRM mental note never to give the person another gift with as much of 'me' invested in it... to spare myself more hurt. I think that's human nature.

It's very risky to give handmade gifts when you don't know for sure how they will be received, because you are giving part of yourself away with them. Rejection of the gift is going to feel like rejection of you.

Lynneander

As so many others have already said, when I give a quilt away, I want it to be enjoyed any way the person wants. The best thing I have ever seen was the first quilt a made for my oldest grandson. After 12 years it is completely tattered ... I couldn't be happier! I know it has been well used and loved.