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-   -   Online Dating..Opinions. (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/online-dating-opinions-t107637.html)

ilovequilts 03-14-2011 11:50 AM

My mom has already given me the safety of online dating talk. She's not really supportive of my decision, but there are no good guys to date where I'm at. Opinions of online dating?

erstan947 03-14-2011 11:59 AM

I'm an old granny from the old school. I think that it can be very dangerous. Please use good judgment and be very careful.

Vicki W 03-14-2011 12:00 PM

I met my hubby online and we have now been married 9 years (well in another couple weeks). We have known each other for over ten. I wouldn't have met him if I didn't go online. He lived in the next state and we share the hobby of genealogy. My brother also met his wife online approximately 7 years ago.

Be careful, don't provide your home address or home phone.

Always let someone else know you are meeting someone. Call them before and after the date.

Meet in a neutral place.

Safety first, there are some great people out there but there are also some weirdos. Better safe than sorry.

Don't let anyone talk you into anything you are not comfortable with....

OK....enough from me, I am sure you can tell I am a Mother?

jeaninmaine 03-14-2011 12:03 PM

I think it's tough to make that kind of decision. A friend of mine married a gentleman she'd been exchanging emails with for over a year before they met. Some people have had it work out fine, others have been raped and killed, it's like a game of chance.

I'd be real tempted to have a friend get a picture of the two of you together. Stick with public places til you know him a little better. Introduce him to some of your friends, so he'll know that if anything happens, you have people who care about you that know who you're with. How about making the first date a double date so you're not alone with a total stranger.

Don't forget the old trick of always having enough money with you so you can get home if anything goes wrong or you have an disagreement(and we did that with people we knew). Keep your cellphone handy.

GirlieWhirlie 03-14-2011 12:09 PM

My sister married her online date. He is just perfect for her. She made it very clear what she wanted and did not want in a partner. Good Luck. They say there is someone for everyone so get to looking.

Country1 03-14-2011 12:20 PM

DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A friend of mine is a county extention agent, well educated and got married and taken for the ride of her life. Destroyed her finacially and emotionally. Another lady I worked with married a guy she had talked with on line for over a year and met several times, he then moved to her town for 6 months before they married. A year later he raped her niece and she found out he had been in prison for molesting his own 2 daughters.
Not saying they are all bad but if you make this choice PLEASE be CAREFUL!!!!!......... :thumbdown:

Shunem 03-14-2011 12:23 PM

Extremely dangerous. That said,...I must admit sheepishly that I met my DH online. I saw his post on a Christian message board, and replied that I lived too far away to be more than a friend, but would be happy to email from time to time, IM, etc...

Four months later he sold his house, moved to my town, and two months after that we were married. Our friends all gave it six months. That was 13&1/2 years ago.

Just be careful,...O.K?

Just-Lee 03-14-2011 12:24 PM

I have been happily married for nearly 7 years..been together 8.5, to a wonderful man I met online in my same town. I got very lucky, but I would not recommend it to others...

Maybe it's just because I get more cautious with age?? lol

I miss the days of actually "meeting" people by accident, talking in person vs. techno-gadgets, etc. I guess I am just an old soul. Good luck to you and be safe :) There are always cuties in Barns & Noble amazingly enough :)

ilovequilts 03-14-2011 12:27 PM

Is it so funny that I am like an old soul and I just wish that I could meet someone casually, run into them somewhere? It just seems that my wishes have no hope of surviving in the technological world. Darn it!

moonwork42029 03-14-2011 12:28 PM

I met my husband via an online dating service in 2002. We married a year later in 2003. I think it's a super way to meet someone...but you may meet a lot of frogs in the process.

Since you fill out a profile (and there's no sense in lying about anything), you are ahead of the game by already knowing you have things in common. Be upfront with your thoughts and desires for your future.

As they suggested...
Exchange emails / phone calls - stick to 1st names for a while. If he doesn't like that, too bad.
Don't hide what you are doing from your family and friends. It's very important that others know about your quest ... just in case
Do exchange face pictures -- then modest full body pictures (if your grandmother can't see it then don't send it!)
Meet in a public place say at lunch time or something...that way you have to be somewhere else at a set time and gives you a good reason to have a time limit for the first meeting.
Do have a friend call you in about 1 hr after your next meeting time. Have a "code" word that means all is good or call back and get me out of this date.
Do have money and your ID on you at all times. If things get freaky, you need to be able to get home on your own. I always kept a $20, my VISA & license in my bra (I'm endowed, lol)
Don't be afraid to see several people at the same time...it is called "dating" like in the old days were you could see many people and it not be a big deal. However, be up front and tell them you do plan on seeing others for awhile.
Don't fall for the first guy you meet!!!!! It's a huge pond and you need to wade around a bit.
If your cats/dogs/kids don't like him, then take the hint. Life is too short to have to play referee with them.

Be safe, be careful, be selective, be smart, be yourself, be someone you'd like to be around, be honest, be modest.

Don't be fooled, don't be clingy, don't be whiny, don't tell about your past boyfriends/relationships, don't worry so much.

Good luck!


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