Advice for soon to be first time Grandparents
 

Our oldest dd is due in a few months and I'd like to know what is your best advice for new first time grandparents to be? I don't know how much they'll let us be in their lives, but I'd like to be as knowledgeable as possible.

I do have a higher baseline of knowledge with regards to the first 3 days after birth (I'm a labor and delivery nurse), but beyond that, it's been ~17 years since I've taken part in a newborn's life. And that wasn't from the grand parents point of view.

What's your best advice?

let her know you're thre to help a much as is needed. but don't be too pushy, like a miss know it all. It i her child, and doesn't want to be told what to do. As the baby gets older, again it's her's to discipline, don't interrupt too much. Don't undermine her is what I'm trying to ay. Let her know you were a delivery nurse, and see what she wants from there. good luck and congratulations.

Also, a lot has changed n the last 17 years, so you might want her to take the lead and let you know how she wants things done. Just let her know you're there for her and the new baby. Congratulations!

You might share with her that you want to 'update' your baby skills for this new little one and ask her advice about what she'd like to to know, to read, sites to visit, stores to visit. I an only imagine she'd be so pleased you want to do such for them.:)

Jan in VA

As a Grandmother to six, ages 29 -14 Yrs old. Great Grandmother to 4.
Love them as much as you can and hold them lots, and lots and kiss their head and cheeks bunches.
Remember how fast they grow up.

Always remember that the baby is not your child. Ask the parents first and just love the baby. This being said, I told my kids when the grand kids started coming that we were going to get the "Grandma job discription" down pat right away. My job as Grandma was hugs, kisses, playtime, cookies and story books. Their job as parents was 2 am feedings, screaming babies, diapers, teething, time outs and teenagers. It has worked out very well!

I am not a grandmother but my oldest sister passed away a year before her grand baby twins were born. So I went up to help after the in-laws left. Since there were 2 there was a lot to do. And I did hold one as often as I could but while my niece was busy being a mommy I spent time cooking, cleaning up afterwards, went to the store if we needed something, took out the trash, and prepared bottles so all she had to do was heat the bottles up. Her sister and brother came - and couldn't find the dishwasher or wash a dish, nor could they fix anything. I even washed and folded clothes. So when it was time for me to leave my niece was ready to steal my keys. I didn't take over the house, I just quietly did things so my niece could relax. Since there were 2 she pumped instead of feeding straight from the breast so she needed the quiet time while the babies slept to relax and that was when I did a lot of the work.

My MIL did nothing when she came after my DDs were born. So instead of taking care of a baby I had to cook, clean and watch after the in-laws. (I could hardly wait for them to leave.) My parents came and when my mom made dinner she made enough so there would be left-overs. And when she made soup she made enough to freeze so it was there after they left. My dad was never one to cook and clean but he was great at holding the baby so I could cook or do laundry - whatever I wanted to get done.

Just be helpful. And enjoy the new baby - wish I had one, I really loved helping with the twins.

Thank you so far ladies. Lynnie, I will inform her that I'm available for as much as she/they want and that we'll follow their rules for their son. She knows I am currently a L/D nurse (and have been for 8 years).

Coopah, thanks for your advice of letting her take the lead and tell me what she'd/they'd prefer I do. She/they are the decision makers.

Jan in VA, when the time is right, I'll let her/them know I've signed up for a grandparents class. It's a 2 hour class. I am certified due to my job, in newborn and infant CPR.

Jingle, I hope to hold him as much as possible! :)

Maryb119, I like your grandparent description and rule of "Ask the parents first and just love the baby."

Quiltingcandy, thanks for your advice of cooking, cleaning, laundry and tidying up and your example of good and bad assistants. We truly remember those who helped and those who hindered.

Doesn't she have already have pre and post natal care? Be a grandma...not a nurse. That is your role now. Enjoy the precious grand.
Sandy

You keep mentioning your professional training and credentials. Volunteer your services at a hospital, daycare, wherever. This event is not a job opening. Grandparent class? OMGosh. What next? Sorry ...just MYOB and enjoy the cuddles. Relax already.....

Sandy