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-   -   went to first guild meeting, felt like an intruder - what would you do? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/went-first-guild-meeting-felt-like-intruder-what-would-you-do-t50457.html)

Butterfli19 06-20-2010 02:56 AM

My neighbor invited me to her quilt guild meeting last week and other than her and the lady sitting next to me, I felt like an intruder. I tried to talk to people but got short answers back and no one seemed to want to acknowledge that I was there.

The other thing is, they had a show and tell and the quilts some of these ladies made were stunning, I mean fabulously breathtaking. Mine are small and simple. I'm also more of a doll maker than a quilt maker but the doll groups around me are more for collectors than makers.

I told my neighbor I would like to join but now I don't know if I would just be disappointed or find it a waste of time, and I don't want to pay dues to have to find this out.

I would love to meet a group of people to get together with that enjoy needle arts but I feel put out by this group already. Am I not giving them a fair chance? Has anyone had anything similar happen?

grannie cheechee 06-20-2010 03:11 AM

I belong to 3 guilds. What happens is the people that have been there so long don't realize they are doing this to visitors. Ask your friends if they noticed how members aren't chatty. Just keep going back for the show and tell if nothing else. Do they have a limit on how many times you can visit before joining, ours is 3.

no1jan 06-20-2010 03:12 AM

This is what I was afraid of if I joined.

Still unsure. My biggest problem is I don't drive, so once I am there I am stuck. I don't know a sole.

I may consider it some more. After all, it may turn out great!

patricej 06-20-2010 03:13 AM

talk to your friend about it. because people are different, the groups they form are different. there may be an explanation for their apparent cold shoulders that turns out to make sense.

consider going one more time and then trust your instincts. if they don't lure you into the fold it will be their loss. you still have us. ;-)

SuziC 06-20-2010 03:21 AM

I had the same thing happen. You just have to find the right group that makes you feel comfortable.

Butterfli19 06-20-2010 03:36 AM

The odd thing is there were only ten people there and I would have thought there would be more comradery than side conversations.

There is another one that has a larger number of members that I may check out as well.

lots2do 06-20-2010 03:40 AM

It took me a while to feel more comfortable with my guild. I found signing up to work on the quilt show regularly helped. Although I was at my getaway (have attended 6 years) and someone asked me "ARe you a new member of our guild?". I just laughed and said no. We have a guild of about 100 members but only a few who attend each monthly meeting so there is a mix each time. There are a few cliquey ones but I just laugh that off now, too.
Two of our guild members own a shop and they have a sit and sew on Sunday afternoons. I have really enjoyed dropping by for that.

MarthaVA 06-20-2010 03:41 AM

Same thing happened to me. I tried it for 3 meetings. The joinup fee wasn't that much so no great loss. I decided it wasn't for me. Good luck and hope you find the "right" group!

hcarpanini 06-20-2010 03:43 AM

Keep going. One by one you will warm up to the other members. I felt the same way the first few times I went. I really enjoy all the group has to offer.

watterstide 06-20-2010 03:44 AM


Originally Posted by SuziC
I had the same thing happen. You just have to find the right group that makes you feel comfortable.

Me too. so i went back one more time, and it still was uncomfortable for me. it reminded me of a "click" in high school. i am not shy at all,so i don't think it was me being quiet.
i found a group that gets together ever wednesday at the Local Senior/community center. i am happy there, they were very friendly and helpful when i was first starting out.

one old quilter started the group,(she was 80 when i joined) the room is free for us. we pay $2 everytime we show up, to actually pay an overseer. and it is well worth that, to have access to the big tables to pin quilts! one of the ladies here came and i thought she had a great time..we all welcomed her with open arms.

i know not all guilds are like this..it was just my experience.


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