I have not read all of the prior posts either, but just to put in my two cents. I would definitely make a comfort quilt only. Maybe at some later time - perhaps way later - you can offer her a memory quilt. You don't have to use her clothing - sometimes pictures are all you have and that's more than enough. Wait and talk to your brother about his wife's relationship with her mother. Sometimes memory quilts are nothing more than crying towels. They're not for everybody - if you don't already know her well enough to know about her relationship with her Mom - concentrate on her relationship with you and make something just for her and let the future take care of itself. Just my personal feelings.