Originally Posted by 2livesdown7togo

When I'm angry or upset I can't concentrate. I'm here looking at all my WIP's and crying yet again.

Six years ago I left everything behind (career, family, support network and country) to be with a smooth talking guy (lot of vague answers to my questions and lots of vague promises). We married nearly five years ago and it's never been smooth sailing. Because we live in two places, he has work but I can't unless it's portable.

Married less than 1 1/2 years, he found a new g/f. I confronted him and he swore it was a mistake and would not be repeated. Along with that he began to drink progressively more heavily. It's now a very isolating existence and this summer I didn't travel with him (my nightly entertainment would be to listen to him drunk dialing). We met up for his daughter's wedding and he brought up divorce. Every time he's unhappy he decides getting rid of me will make him feel better. Oh yeah, and swore no new g/f, turns out it was a lie. So even though we didn't marry for the first two years we knew each other, it turns out I got a lying, cheating, drunk. The three things I swore I'd never have in my marriage. But I'm the problem, because I speak up.

And now that my future is gone (emotionally and financially, good luck getting my career back), I'm immobilized. I'm highly educated and had a great career going, just believed in someone else's view of the future. For the first time in a life that I've always taken care of without help from anyone, I'm scared.

But I'll do whatever it takes to not invest a single day more in this than I absolutely have to, I'm worth more than that no matter what he talks himself into believing.

And when I can finally concentrate on quilts, they'll be more special.

I suppose I spewed all this as my way of saying FVGoddess, NEVER look back at the man who doesn't treat you well. And keep expressing yourself by creating things of beauty to send out into the world.

And to everyone who sees this, thank you for indulging me, I have no one to go to and once in awhile it all just gets to be more than I can handle. I don't normally have a need to share my private life, but I guess this pushed my buttons today.