Sometimes you just have to express how you feel. I am in the same boat as you except I lost 26 years of my life to a an self-made under dog. His stories about his repression made me out to be the devil himself. It hit the fan when he had a massive coronary and was air lifted to a major hostital. When I got there I found out his 'wife' had already been to see him and I had to go to the security office to prove who I was. This was the beginning of the end. Hell rained down on me for his lies for two more months and now at 65 I'm facing starting a business to support myself. There's no explaining the why's of what other people.