Originally Posted by lalaland
My 18 year old copped an attitude with me on the day he turned 18 over writing thank you notes for gifts of money he'd received - I believe he said something like "you can't tell me what to do anymore". So I got right up in his face and pretty much told him there's the door. Fortunately we'd raised him to take us pretty much seriously so he settled down pretty quickly. So just hang in there and be consistent.
We see a lot of the 18-itis at the high school I work at, "I'm 18, I can leave if I want to, you can't tell me what to do." Our typical response is oh, you live on your own, you support yourself, feed yourself, pay your cell phone bill yourself, make a car payment, pay for gas, insurance, etc.
Our oldest (my step-daughter I raised since she was 5) did that ~ copped a total attitude the NIGHT she turned 18 ~ "You cannot tell me what to do now" ~ "I am an adult, I make my own rules, and I'll set my own curfew". Daddy said "our house, our rules" which is how all 4 have been raised ... she didn't come home 'til 3:30 a.m., deliberately broke curfew just to prove her point.
Dad told her he'd help her pack her stuff (that got her attention, but a week later she was throwing a hissy fit again because "my friends don't have chored, you guys are just mean") ... dad offered to help pack her stuff again, and wait on the porch until someone arrived to pick her and the bags up. She had something to prove to the world that we were "meanies" and figured it would hurt us if she did move out... so what do we find the next day? All my gardening tools thrown in the outside trash on top of a pile of dog poo, our golden retreiver cowering under a table in the basement, 11 of my collectible sculptures (the ones her dad gave me for anniversaries and gifts) stolen, and a couple months later we found out that $600 was missing, and we had not had anyone over that could have taken it. Sad.
She got married this last summer, and she has turned into such a vain shallow person, it is really disheartening. She has told her hubby's family nothing but lies about us, she's still out to hurt us. So at the wedding, we "were just ourselves", had a great time, had wonderful conversation with other couples / family, and now "his family" is really wondering what is going on, because we're nothing like she said we were for the last 5 years. We're still hoping she'll wake up soon. She's 25 now, and her whole life revolves around face-value, not true deeper persona. Family is not important to her.
Son who's 22 has pulled his head outta wherever it was, tho, and has his act together... although he had children too early, he is USMC and is getting his life in order completely. yay. BOYS ARE EASIER!!!
Other two are 11.5 & 13 ... at least we've been thru this before, so it won't be as much of a shock to hubby/my system raising teens again :)