Don't beat yourself up anymore. The cutting, figuring out what fits with what, etc. is one of the aspects that I love about quilting. I've always loved math and took every course in high school and college I could fit in. What will I do with that was the question I got from friends. Well it has served me well. A wonderful teacher once told me that even if I never used the applications math teaches your mind to be organized. That is very true. Please don't give up, walk away from it for awhile and let your mind relax. Sounds like you have an amazing wealth of talent, please don't give up. Okay? Sending big quilting hugs your way.