Oh Joy, please don't let yourself be discouraged or be so hard on yourself. I think most of us are far too critical of our own work and some of the most beautiful quilts are made by people working entirely by hand or with the simplest of sewing machines. Fancy equipment is nice to have, but it isn't anywhere as important as the beauty of your imagination. God bless you for taking care of your family and grant you the peace and consolation of doing lovely work with your hands whenever you can.