Missy - I know you care deeply for those that are hurting and God knows to. I would simply pray everyday for your ex MIL and the family and let God take care of them. I don't think you need to make contact with them and open old wounds for you or your ex and his family. Let God take care of them. Anyone who knows you, really knows you knows you care and will be praying for them. God Bless in whatever decision that you make.