gaigai

Joanne, I had the good fortune to be off for about a week before Precious foaled. I had the laptop on all the time, even set it up in my bedroom! :wink: :roll: I saw how you took care of her. I knew that you were watching all night too, just catching winks here and there, and I know that sometimes people called you with false alarms, further interrupting any sleep you managed to catch. And I was watching as everything happened. Just as I was going to call, I saw your shadow on cam and knew you were there. I saw that you did everything you could and that you had others there with you who were trying everything they could, also.

And I know that none of that really makes you feel better, that you believe that because Precious was yours, and your responsibility, that there must have been something that you could have done to have changed the outcome.

I know this because I am a critical care nurse, and have been a pediatric critical care nurse. Death is a common occurrence, and there are many times I've felt that if only we had done X instead of Y, or if only Z had worked,......... Sometimes I think I've shrouded as many kids as I've diapered. When I first started Peds ICU, a very wise MD told me "Fair is a man-made concept. In life, the only real definition of FAIR is a place with a midway and rides that sells popcorn and cotton candy". And he was right.

That being said, I've read all the responses on the MiniHorseForum, and have been absolutely astounded at the posts of similar incidents, even this year. From what I have been reading, if this is the first mare you've ever lost in 16 years, it is obvious that you are doing something very right.

I know that this last foaling will be the hardest yet as you wait, just because of what happened to Precious. When that foal is born, and all of us watching give a big cheer, I know that you will feel it in your heart too.

Gai