This is where being a parent becomes very, very difficult! I would simply tell her I love her and that we are there for her and the baby. I once told my DD, who was very angry with her daughter and had contemplated "cutting her off," that she didn't want to throw out the baby with the bathwater...this is one of those times when, no matter what you believe, you MUST think about the baby (who didn't ask to be here) and not yourselves...and, it's hard. God bless you all as you work your ways through this. Good luck.