Or you could try another quilting pattern that would avoid going through the seams quite so much. Might make it easier on the fingers. I use a funny thimble designed for people with long fingernails -- the tip is open but there's an extended bit that works like a fingernail. Found it at Walmart.
I like making my stitches 10-12 per inch (counting the up and the down). It's just a length I'm comfortable with, but size of stitch, I think, is less important than getting them straight and even. That, as everyone has said, is a matter of practice, practice, practice. You'll make it!