Maybe your strong suit for now is designing the tops that you would love to quilt. Do you have a longarmer that you could collaborate with? I am getting into machine quilting, been a hand quilter for over 30 years. The learning curve is huge. I did some smaller pieces on my 9" Mega quilter to get the feel of the machine, and moving the quilt. It gave me more confidence to put the machine back on the frame and try more on there. I think everything has stages, and you are ready to jump to a new stage in your quilting life. Thank goodness quilting has sooo much to offer, traditional, contemporary, hand or machine work.
Being a type A personality is tough. I have had to learn to let a lot of things go. It is a challenge to find what satisfies a person, our tastes change quite a bit over time. My problem is I put so much of myself into my quilts that when I give them away as gifts, I feel a bit let down. Like someone moved out! They become a part of me. My choice of pattern, fabric, color, quilting design, etc. These are all my choices. And, probably the only thing I will ever have control of!!
The search for what satisfies you will make your quilting world expand. You will always need to know more, accomplish more, perfect more, try more. No, you are not whining, you are on an adventure!