Dearest Annesthreads, Here's a question you might ask yourself. Would you have felt the same if one of your girlfriends had made the suggestion your sister made that discouraged your dear heart??? I don't know where to begin to explain to you how well I am personally familiar with your difficult feelings regarding being creative. I have a younger sister who felt this way about me and I also felt this way about her! Our story is anything but simple, but we needed help! This was 29 years ago, we both went through Christian counseling and have gotten lots of healing. In our case, those feeling of being inadequate came from our Mother always singing the praises to me about my sister, and vice versa. We found from counselors Mother was a narcissist who needed to control everything, she used the wounds she inflicted to control. Our case is pretty extreme, I encourage you to begin looking for a trusted friend or counselor you can talk to, professionals have been taught on how to get to the root cause of your awful emotional pain. No one should have to live with those feelings of being "so-so". The fact that you want to do something "better" tells me you probably have it in you. (A so-so person would be thrilled with their plan and not seek to improve). Please feel free to send me a private message.