First of all, big congratulations to you! Our grandchildren are our immortality. What are you going to be called? I had a Grandmother and my step grandma was known as Big Mama. My sister’s grandchildren call her Maw Maw. My daughter had a Nana. I like the sound of that, so that was my choice. But after he was born, I realized that Grandma fit me more. He is 3 now and guess what he calls me? GeeGee. His paternal grandma is Nana, but he calls her Neenee.
I told my daughter when she was pregnant. “When you hold your baby, you finally will begin to understand just how much I love you.” I think one of the most important things I do is to let my daughter know that she is a human being first and a mother second. She is going to make mistakes. She is going to feel frustrated at times. No matter how wonderful a mother she may be, there will be times that she feels anger or bitterness towards her child. And there will be moments along the way that she may say things that she wishes she hadn’t. But she must forgive herself and move on. Being a mom is a cradle to grave journey, and we all make mistakes. My mom left me when I was a baby, and to say my step-mother didn’t like me would be an understatement, so I didn’t have a good role model. I learned by instinct and trial and error. The thing I figured out along the way is that all new moms learn by instinct and trial and error to a degree. And I would agree with Lynnie, that you have to give her room to do things her way and give advice gently when you must, but mostly you need to wait for her to ask for your advice.
You are going to love being a grandma! Everything I felt as a mother, I feel as a grandma in an exponential way. I love watching my daughter with my grandson. One of the things that bring me great joy is to watch her trying to teach him things that I taught her—like please and thank you, and to say yes Ma’am and no Ma’am. It is priceless. These are precious moments. Just when I thought I couldn’t love them more, a new day comes when I find that I love them more than the day before. My daughter lives with me. She is a single parent. She just graduated with her bachelor’s degree and now she is working full time, so I have babysat for her since he was born. It has been more of a blessing than a curse, and when all is said and done, I know that I will have a special bond with him because I have helped to raise him. We are on a waiting list right now for preschool at the YMCA, so my special time with him is coming to an end.
I also wanted to say that your children are very lucky that you are a nurse. I didn’t go to nursing school until after my children were born, but a lot of the things I studied, like pediatrics, or how to do physical assessments on a baby, first aide, CPR, nutrition, and so on—really broadened the scope of what I bring to the table as a grandparent.
As far as tips are concerned, my husband and I try to teach our grandchild everything we can. I have taught him his colors, shapes, numbers, the alphabet, numerous words, etc. Right now I am teaching him birdsongs. He can identify the songs of Mourning Doves, Whiporwills, Owls, Chickadees, and we’re working on Eastern Towhees right now. He can identify Saturn and Earth. I am getting my telescope out this summer and looking at the moon and stars with him. When he is ready, we will work on constellations. And we are going to work on cloud identification this summer. I plan to purchase a microscope soon. I paint with him, and I will teach him to sew. My husband is buying him ice skates this winter. My son learned to skate by pushing a lawn chair around. He played ice hockey on leagues throughout his childhood, and my husband has the same hope for our grandson. I bake cookies with my grandson. I read to him all the time. The best tip that I can give you is to teach him or her all that you can and smother your new grandbaby with warm hugs and sloppy kisses and grandma love.