Originally Posted by
dunster
I can't imagine asking someone to give me something, especially something they have to take the time to make. I would just laugh and tell her I'll add her to the list. Or if she insists, tell her that it will cost her. When she asks how much, tell her the price of the materials plus some amount for your labor. (The amount can be outrageous if you really don't want to make the, quilt, or it can be reasonable if you don't mind making it.) And that will probably be the end of that. Just because someone asks for something doesn't mean you have to provide it for them.
Yes, being asked, (being put on the spot), is socially unacceptable.
I'm thinking, although not close, this person doesn't realize this is not a
compliment. I think that is the way she perceives it.
I've got a friend, I met through another friend. She knew my younger brothers,
and we were close for a period of time, by email and such.
I have met her in person. We really do click, BUT, time, health issues, income,
and changes of email addies and FB, have changed things.
She has MS and is bedridden most of the time.
I have multiple health issues and not bedridden, but the quickest way to stall me
in my tracks on any issue, is to put pressure on me.
I can't function.
She wants a quilt, and in my heart, I want to make her a quilt, but my health issues
are many, and my concentration etc. and no money, have made it extremely difficult.
I plan to eventually make her one, but I have never said I would.
In fact, when my neighbor that originally introduced us, told me she wanted one,
I almost had a panic attack, and she understood that I just can't.
Sewing/quilting 'in secret', is the only way I ever get anything done for others.
Be kind to yourself and ask yourself, "What do you really want to do?"
I suspect your answer goes both ways,...just like me.
BUT, the only reason you kind of want to, is bc of the pressure.
If she had never asked you, you would be going your merry way without thinking
about this.
You obviously can't say, "I can't sew for others. It makes me too nervous", like I honestly did.
Panel lappie or "no money", or "I can't", with no explanation seem to be
your choices.
Yes, you'll eventually gift someone and she may find out. Can you live with her being mad?
I'm not suggesting you do this out of guilt, heavens no! I also know
there are ppl
that will torment themselves if somebody is upset with them.
I'd go to Pinterest or Google: type in Easy Quilts. Panels are my go-to.
You could do a ten minute block quilt, a row quilt with different fabrics,...there are lots of
easy ways to not take forever.
You can even do a flimsy with a flannel backing and tie it.
I hope you find your answer and peace of mind.
Last edited by Mousie; 03-08-2018 at 10:51 AM.