Grieving the loss of a loved one is a very personal matter and it appears that you and your DD are handling the process very differently. I do not think she has the right to tell you what you should do with your husband's belongings. If making a quilt keeps him close to you and gives you comfort, by all means - make a quilt.
(There is a company that makes teddy bears out of shirts as keepsakes with a lovely poem attached in the label.)
If your DD does not want to be present when you work on the quilt, that would be her choice. Once the quilt is made and she does not want to see it, you can keep it out of her sight.
I don't know how many clothes your DH had or how many you plan to use, but may be to make your DD feel better, you could presort - pull out what you plan to use and let her toss (or donate) the rest. Sounds like the best of both worlds - given the sadness of the situation.