A different perspective here. I am extremely efficient in the kitchen and I usually have not had assistance. With that said, I know it was my responsibility to teach my sons to cook and to be independent, (in their eyes it was forced labor). My daughter-in-law has complimented me on teaching my oldest so much as it makes it easier for her. On holidays, my husband and 2 sons are tasked with dishes after we eat as a gift to me (again forced labor as it is my idea). I do not have a dishwasher and use real plates etc, though I have as many dishes done beforehand as possible. It is good for them to see the work that is involved.
I had a dear friend tell me that if I ever wanted to pass the torch of holidays, I needed to start preparing them early or it would never happen. She has tried in her family without any success for many years. It was really hard to have someone else bring a food item for holidays and help in the kitchen, but I look at it as planting the seeds for the future.
As a child, we always did the dishes and helped when we were at a relatives house. None of us would not have gotten by without helping. I was shocked when my husband and I were dating and he told me, I was the first one to ever help his mom. We were the 5th wedding of the kids.
So even though it can be hard, we need to teach the future generations and we need to think about it when we hear, someone was never taught to do something, perhaps they were never allowed and not everyone is good at teaching. If I am somewhere and I offer and they decline, I do respect their wishes.