QNS, is your brother a Mormon? They are so into genealogy. I am sorry your relationship with him is so tenuous that you can’t just be yourself around him. Being judged based on your religious beliefs and then shunned from the family dinner table is so not right! Gee whiz, how disrespectful. I would never be able to accept such treatment.
Some relationships can be so harmful they are better left behind, even if they are with family.