Gwyn - I'm just reading about your tremendous loss. (((HUGS))) and prayers to you and your family.
Also regarding funerals and cremation - you can do both. My BIL's funeral was an open casket, with cremation later. SIL split the ashes and some were buried at a National cemetary and she was going to spread the rest somewhere meaningful to them both. I wish I had know when my dad died that you could split the ashes up like that.