When do you quit giving gifts to "kids"
12-22-2012, 05:08 AM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,051
When do you quit giving gifts to "kids"
My niece and nephew never acknowledge the gift cards or checks I send them. With Facebook and email and texting...you would think they would. One is out of the country at school (college) and the other has been kicked out of high school. (I wont divulge why...I am not happy about it either)
I frankly feel that I work hard for my $$$ and I would expect a meager thank you at the least! Disappointing. I guess my heart s not into gift giving considering the circumstances and their lifestyle choices and behavior.
Thought?
Sandy
I frankly feel that I work hard for my $$$ and I would expect a meager thank you at the least! Disappointing. I guess my heart s not into gift giving considering the circumstances and their lifestyle choices and behavior.
Thought?
Sandy
12-22-2012, 06:07 AM
#5
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 41,481
Extended family until they are 18. We start getting gifts for their little ones when they appear. For my siblings we agreed that we sure didn't need more stuff and we pool our money for a donation to the Salvation Army.
12-22-2012, 06:14 AM
#6
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 5,665
If they don't even acknowledge your gifts...I would have stopped giving to them LONG ago when they stopped thanking you. In this modern day with all the ways of communicating...there is no excuse for them not thanking you.
12-22-2012, 06:19 AM
#8
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Merritt Island ,Fl.
Posts: 997
I have been giving to my grand kids for every thing . Weddings, babies , Christmas. an never a thank you , except from the 2 oldest. I have decided that next year they get nothing from me. I dont even get a Christmas card from any of them .Except like I said ,the 2 oldest. I have 9 grand and 5 going on 6 great grand. So this is my thoughts on the deal.
12-22-2012, 06:24 AM
#9
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 334
It's hard for me to really answer this being that I'm 20, but my aunts still give me gifts. Well, only one of my aunts gives me a Christmas present and sent birthday cards religiously. My other aunts will get me something if they see something I like or the "fits" me. I'm very appreciative of the gifts I recieve because for some of my family it's hard going. So when they give me something I'm very grateful. Also I love to know that they think of me in these times. I'm very thankful for my family.
12-22-2012, 06:29 AM
#10
Power Poster
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 12,861
can't really blame the children if their parents never taught them to always send a 'thank-you'...
my neices (in their 20's now) have ALWAYS sent a brief message-some sort of note to let me know they received a gift- regardless of circumstances- they were taught as very young girls to sit down & write thank you's -- my own kids (now in their 30's- and their children---teens) always sit down & write notes of thanks-- during the quiet time after birthday parties- in the afternoon on Christmas---when ever they have a few quiet moments-
i still always set down & write a note letting people know i am thinking of them---it's all in the way a person is raised.
as for 'age to quite giving'.... i don't really think an age should have much to do with it- gifts are supposed to come from the heart- not be a commitment-unless your family draws names or has some (tradition) way to handle the adults-
in our family when the kids started having kids- the (kids) always receive a gift from anyone who can afford-wants to give one- no one is expected-forced to give gifts-
as for the adults- sometimes some of us give gifts to adults in the family- again- they are not expected- no one feels slighted if they do not get one- and someone else does- we have a large family- sometimes we get lots done & many people get gifts, sometimes time/finances restrict that- everyone works, has lives- know how things are- its a gift- not an expectation- and everyone says thank you- all that being said- my youngest son (in the navy- busy) is the worst about the thank-you's...he just seems to have other things on his mind- it does not mean we stop loving him,,or refuse to give to him...when we have sent him something & weeks go by without hearing from him we generally give him a call- & ask---did your package arrive ok---then he always says---yes- i loved it! thank you!...
giving should come from the heart- if your heart is not in it-it's meaningless- so don't bother-
we were taught to not give with expectations attached; just like giving to charity---give because the act of giving is reward enough---not the 'pat on the back from others'
my neices (in their 20's now) have ALWAYS sent a brief message-some sort of note to let me know they received a gift- regardless of circumstances- they were taught as very young girls to sit down & write thank you's -- my own kids (now in their 30's- and their children---teens) always sit down & write notes of thanks-- during the quiet time after birthday parties- in the afternoon on Christmas---when ever they have a few quiet moments-
i still always set down & write a note letting people know i am thinking of them---it's all in the way a person is raised.
as for 'age to quite giving'.... i don't really think an age should have much to do with it- gifts are supposed to come from the heart- not be a commitment-unless your family draws names or has some (tradition) way to handle the adults-
in our family when the kids started having kids- the (kids) always receive a gift from anyone who can afford-wants to give one- no one is expected-forced to give gifts-
as for the adults- sometimes some of us give gifts to adults in the family- again- they are not expected- no one feels slighted if they do not get one- and someone else does- we have a large family- sometimes we get lots done & many people get gifts, sometimes time/finances restrict that- everyone works, has lives- know how things are- its a gift- not an expectation- and everyone says thank you- all that being said- my youngest son (in the navy- busy) is the worst about the thank-you's...he just seems to have other things on his mind- it does not mean we stop loving him,,or refuse to give to him...when we have sent him something & weeks go by without hearing from him we generally give him a call- & ask---did your package arrive ok---then he always says---yes- i loved it! thank you!...
giving should come from the heart- if your heart is not in it-it's meaningless- so don't bother-
we were taught to not give with expectations attached; just like giving to charity---give because the act of giving is reward enough---not the 'pat on the back from others'
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