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Thread: Funny letter from Walmart... Fake but funny

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    Funny letter from Walmart... Fake but funny

    Dh cousin posted this on Facebook. I do not know where it originated from.

    From a fan ... After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

    Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

    Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

    Dear Mrs.Harris,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.

    We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
    Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19:Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
    This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
    EMTs were called.

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it,
    as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
    'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

    And last, but not least:

    16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
    Proud Parent of one Dwight Canada Student, my son graduated this year and is on his way to UVic.

    http://dwightcanada.org/

  2. #2
    Super Member MaryMo's Avatar
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    chuckle! chuckle! My impressions too of Wally World! Thanks for sharing.
    Make it a scrappy happy day!

  3. #3
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    This is hilarious ! DH wanted to see what I was laughing about and I'm afraid he has gotten some ideas........

  4. #4
    Super Member BluegrassGurl's Avatar
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    lol.... so very funny. I read these to my DH..... as I could see him doing any one of these.

  5. #5
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    that was so funny! laugh a day!
    Have a blessed day everyday!

  6. #6
    Power Poster Mariposa's Avatar
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    Thanks for the chuckles!
    Be a blessing to others, as you may entertain angels unaware!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Ginaky's Avatar
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    I read these a few years ago and still laughed till I had tears in my eyes!
    Regina in Richmond, KY

  8. #8
    Power Poster alikat110's Avatar
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    ROFLMAO!!!!! Boy did I just wake the kids!!!!

  9. #9
    Junior Member bearland53's Avatar
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    I've seen this before - still find it extremely funny - and that is why I never took my husband shopping with me. LOL

  10. #10
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    It's the first time I've seen this and boy did I laugh.

    Thanks for sharing.

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