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Thread: Funny letter from Walmart... Fake but funny

  1. #1
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    Funny letter from Walmart... Fake but funny

    Dh cousin posted this on Facebook. I do not know where it originated from.

    From a fan ... After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

    Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

    Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local WalMart:

    Dear Mrs.Harris,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.

    We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
    Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19:Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'.
    This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

    6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
    EMTs were called.

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it,
    as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed;
    'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

    And last, but not least:

    16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
    Attending University. I will graduate a year after my son and year before my daughter.

  2. #2
    Super Member MaryMo's Avatar
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    chuckle! chuckle! My impressions too of Wally World! Thanks for sharing.
    Make it a scrappy happy day!

  3. #3
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    This is hilarious ! DH wanted to see what I was laughing about and I'm afraid he has gotten some ideas........

  4. #4
    Super Member BluegrassGurl's Avatar
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    lol.... so very funny. I read these to my DH..... as I could see him doing any one of these.

  5. #5
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    that was so funny! laugh a day!
    Have a blessed day everyday!

  6. #6
    Power Poster Mariposa's Avatar
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    Thanks for the chuckles!
    Be a blessing to others, as you may entertain angels unaware!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Ginaky's Avatar
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    I read these a few years ago and still laughed till I had tears in my eyes!
    Regina in Richmond, KY

  8. #8
    Power Poster alikat110's Avatar
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    ROFLMAO!!!!! Boy did I just wake the kids!!!!

  9. #9
    Junior Member bearland53's Avatar
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    I've seen this before - still find it extremely funny - and that is why I never took my husband shopping with me. LOL

  10. #10
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    It's the first time I've seen this and boy did I laugh.

    Thanks for sharing.

  11. #11
    Super Member BuzzinBumble's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing...it does us good to laugh so much!

  12. #12
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    That is too funny. I stopped asking my husband if he wanted to go shopping with me, because he would ask what I was going for and if I dared to look at other stuff he would say it was not on the list. He hated shopping so I should have known better than to ask him, but I always thought he would say no!

  13. #13
    Super Member callen's Avatar
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    Have read this before but it is so hilarious it is well worth reading again & again !! Made my day.
    Dance like no one is watching

  14. #14
    Super Member nygal's Avatar
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    LOL Thanks for the laughs.
    When it seems like the world is falling to pieces remember that the pieces are falling into place. We are nearing closer to the End Times.

  15. #15
    Senior Member pegquilter8's Avatar
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    Husb in WalMart!

    Very Funny.

  16. #16
    Super Member SherriB's Avatar
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    So funny!! I could just see my DH doing some of those things!!!
    Sherri

  17. #17
    Super Member Abby'smom's Avatar
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    oh, I enjoyed it -- thank you for the laugh!!
    diane

  18. #18
    Super Member JoanneS's Avatar
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    An oldie, but a goodie! I'm still chuckling.

  19. #19
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    Thanks for a GREAT laugh

  20. #20
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    I ahve seen this before but every time I read it I laugh out loud = I can just picture the husband doing all of this!

  21. #21
    Super Member damaquilts's Avatar
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    I have seen these a couple of times before but they are still funny

  22. #22
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    I don't think I'll read this to DH. I can totally see him doing any and all of these things!

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