Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: An honorable man?.........funny

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Crystal River Florida
    Posts
    9,466
    "One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river,
    his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked,
    "Why are you crying?"

    The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the
    axe to make his living.

    The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

    "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

    The woodcutter replied, "No."

    The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?"
    the Lord asked.

    Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

    The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?"
    the Lord asked.

    The woodcutter replied, "Yes.."

    The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to
    keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.



    Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the
    riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord
    again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

    "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

    The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this
    your wife?" the Lord asked..

    "Yes," cried the woodcutter.

    The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

    The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.
    You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE, You would have come up with
    CAMERON DIAZ. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my
    wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a
    poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I
    said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE."



    The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and
    honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

  2. #2
    Super Member quiltingfan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    San Antonio Texas
    Posts
    1,021
    Blog Entries
    1
    I look for your name now so that I can get my laugh of the day... Thank you...

  3. #3
    just-sew-together's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Windy City Area...IL
    Posts
    248
    Dang................ I knew there had to be a really a GOOD reason!!! Too, too funny.....

  4. #4
    Super Member Murphy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Iowa
    Posts
    8,904
    Blog Entries
    1
    You just make my day full of humor.

  5. #5
    Super Member leiladylei54's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Honolulu, Hawaii
    Posts
    2,043
    Too funny!!!

  6. #6
    Super Member grammiepamie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Orange Park, Florida
    Posts
    1,024
    Yea Ditter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. #7
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    San Bernardino
    Posts
    4,283
    Thanks Ditter You Have made My Day. Funny, Funny!!!!!!

  8. #8
    Super Member jljack's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Central CA - But otherwise, NOTW
    Posts
    8,068
    Blog Entries
    9
    Here's another --

    A man was speeding down the highway in his brand new car. A Highway Patrolman was just finishing his shift, but decided to stop the guy anyway since he was going so fast. As he walked up to the window and said "It's just at the end of my shift. If you can give me a reason for your speeding that I have never heard before, I'll let you go". The man thought for a minute, and said "Two weeks ago my wife left me for a Highway Patrolman and I thought you were bringing her back".

    The officer said, "That's the best I've ever heard. Have a nice day, sir."

  9. #9
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    San Bernardino
    Posts
    4,283
    Love It Very Funny.!!!!!!!

  10. #10
    Super Member mommamac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Coast of Maine
    Posts
    3,170
    Quote Originally Posted by quiltingfan
    I look for your name now so that I can get my laugh of the day... Thank you...
    Me too!

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.