Here's another --
A man was speeding down the highway in his brand new car. A Highway Patrolman was just finishing his shift, but decided to stop the guy anyway since he was going so fast. As he walked up to the window and said "It's just at the end of my shift. If you can give me a reason for your speeding that I have never heard before, I'll let you go". The man thought for a minute, and said "Two weeks ago my wife left me for a Highway Patrolman and I thought you were bringing her back".
The officer said, "That's the best I've ever heard. Have a nice day, sir."