I am too excited to sleep!
11-30-2013, 06:37 AM
#21
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Horse Country, FL
Posts: 7,341
First, I Goggled my grandfather's name and a blogger who had him living in Indiana or Michigan for his childhood and returning home as an adult, marrying, then disappearing. And they had another relative in the state mental hospital nearby. None of that is true, and I have my mother still alive to confirm that information is totally, absolutely false. But it makes for good reading, even if it besmirches my grandfather's name. It's posted on the internet.
Second, we went to the movie, "Philomena" yesterday and it was good, IMHO. It brought up a lot of questions about how adoptions were done in years past.
Third, I have a close friend in another area of the country who searched all her life for her family. Now that she has found them, she's not so sure about all the ramifications that come with finding them.
So just saying, be careful and be sure to get everything you can that can be officially documented. Have fun, but be careful, as Mom says!!
Second, we went to the movie, "Philomena" yesterday and it was good, IMHO. It brought up a lot of questions about how adoptions were done in years past.
Third, I have a close friend in another area of the country who searched all her life for her family. Now that she has found them, she's not so sure about all the ramifications that come with finding them.
So just saying, be careful and be sure to get everything you can that can be officially documented. Have fun, but be careful, as Mom says!!
11-30-2013, 08:18 AM
#22
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Desert Southwest
Posts: 1,314
It's wonderful to know you have a family member who can share the joy of family with an entire new group. As for the hiring of attorneys to unseal a sealed record....I don't know why the courts bother to seal a record if an attorney can get it unsealed. Balancing the need of the adoptee to know family history and the promised privacy of the birth parents is a profound challenge. I understand the need to know medical history; but to satisfy curiosity is another matter. Congrats again to you for finding a family member. Enjoy!
11-30-2013, 09:01 AM
#23
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Central Willamette Valley, Oregon, USA
Posts: 7,695
This will probably start an argument, but I have always felt that sealing the records was an attempt to hide a 'mistake' for the parents, and as usual in all things related to children, their rights don't matter. Just because the parents made a 'mistake' the child must suffer a life of doubt and ignorance. People always say you should never demean an absent parent to a child because it is half of who the child is, does this mean that only children with two known parents might be damaged? Hiding who he is from a child does more damage in my estimation. I am not adopted, but many of my friends are. My best friend was adopted, and she went to her grave never knowing who she was. All she knew for sure was that she came from the area of a reservation, and that she looked Native American. Her last words were "Who am I?" Knowing her is what gives me my opinion. Equal rights should apply to adoptees.
Last edited by madamekelly; 11-30-2013 at 09:04 AM.
11-30-2013, 10:27 AM
#25
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Western North Carolina
Posts: 1,432
Originally Posted by madamekelly
Ancestry.com is the best resource and really inexpensive. It is THE largest collection of human records in the world. Good luck! (And good night...)
11-30-2013, 10:43 AM
#27
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 570
Originally Posted by madamekelly
I got up early, put a huge turkey in the oven and sat down to have my first cup of coffee. Just as I sat down, my phone rang. I answered it, and a very nice male voice asked me if I was me. I said yes...? He asked me if I had any relatives named Killgore. I said yes, my mother, and gave him her name. He starts yelling into the phone "I found you! I found you!"
Ok, I am normally pretty unflappable, but this got my attention. I said " OK, you found me." "Who are you, and why were you looking for me?
He says " I have been searching all my life for my birth family!" I said "Birth family????" he said yes. Evidently before I was born, my favorite uncle (my mother's older brother, who would be in his late eighties, but is gone now) was married and had four kids, which I knew, but when he and my aunt divorced, (again before I was born) she was pregnant and put the child up for adoption and they never told the family about it!
This man (my new cousin) is nearly sixty, and my facebook apps (family tree) helped him finally find us. (That almost makes having a Facebook account worth the aggravation.)
I will be spending Friday and Saturday calling relatives to get permission to share phone numbers. So far it is still my secret. I guess we will be putting together a family reunion for him to meet us all.
This is one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me. His name is Steve, and he was a neurosurgeon until he retired, then he got bored and decided to go to law school. He just passed his state bar!
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest so I can go to sleep. May all of you have wonderful dreams and survive Black Friday in one piece. I will be at home, sewing and making telephone calls. Lol!
Ok, I am normally pretty unflappable, but this got my attention. I said " OK, you found me." "Who are you, and why were you looking for me?
He says " I have been searching all my life for my birth family!" I said "Birth family????" he said yes. Evidently before I was born, my favorite uncle (my mother's older brother, who would be in his late eighties, but is gone now) was married and had four kids, which I knew, but when he and my aunt divorced, (again before I was born) she was pregnant and put the child up for adoption and they never told the family about it!
This man (my new cousin) is nearly sixty, and my facebook apps (family tree) helped him finally find us. (That almost makes having a Facebook account worth the aggravation.)
I will be spending Friday and Saturday calling relatives to get permission to share phone numbers. So far it is still my secret. I guess we will be putting together a family reunion for him to meet us all.
This is one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me. His name is Steve, and he was a neurosurgeon until he retired, then he got bored and decided to go to law school. He just passed his state bar!
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest so I can go to sleep. May all of you have wonderful dreams and survive Black Friday in one piece. I will be at home, sewing and making telephone calls. Lol!
11-30-2013, 05:49 PM
#30
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New Milford, CT
Posts: 501
Originally Posted by madamekelly
This will probably start an argument, but I have always felt that sealing the records was an attempt to hide a 'mistake' for the parents, and as usual in all things related to children, their rights don't matter. Just because the parents made a 'mistake' the child must suffer a life of doubt and ignorance. People always say you should never demean an absent parent to a child because it is half of who the child is, does this mean that only children with two known parents might be damaged? Hiding who he is from a child does more damage in my estimation. I am not adopted, but many of my friends are. My best friend was adopted, and she went to her grave never knowing who she was. All she knew for sure was that she came from the area of a reservation, and that she looked Native American. Her last words were "Who am I?" Knowing her is what gives me my opinion. Equal rights should apply to adoptees.
Enjoy your new relative and be happy for him
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