JOKE: Funny Phone Messages
01-02-2010, 07:38 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: currently central new jersey
Posts: 8,623
Funny 10 Phone Answering Messages
10. My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don’t need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine – this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling….. And I’ll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I’ll call you soon. If you leave a “sexy” message, I’ll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I’m probably home; I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
1. Hello, you’ve reached Jim and Sonya. We can’t pick up the phone right now, because we’re doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right…real slow. So leave a message, and when we’re done brushing our teeth, we’ll call you back .
10. My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don’t need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine – this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling….. And I’ll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I’ll call you soon. If you leave a “sexy” message, I’ll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I’m probably home; I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
1. Hello, you’ve reached Jim and Sonya. We can’t pick up the phone right now, because we’re doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right…real slow. So leave a message, and when we’re done brushing our teeth, we’ll call you back .
01-03-2010, 07:27 AM
#7
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 152
This is one I had on my phone a few years ago. We had a number that was similar to a local car dealer. After suffering thru many wrong numbeers I put on this message.
"Hi, you've reached (my number). If you dialed (Car dealer) you've got the wrong number, if this is friends or family, leave a message, if this is an obscene phone call someone will be right with you."
"Hi, you've reached (my number). If you dialed (Car dealer) you've got the wrong number, if this is friends or family, leave a message, if this is an obscene phone call someone will be right with you."
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