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Thread: JOKE: 10 Funny Answering Phone Messages

  1. #1
    Super Member butterflywing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    currently central new jersey
    Funny 10 Phone Answering Messages

    10. My wife and I canít come to the phone right now, but if youíll leave your name and number, weíll get back to you as soon as weíre finished.

    9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and donít need their picture taken. If youíre still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

    8. This is not an answering machine Ė this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for callingÖ.. And Iíll think about returning your call.

    7. Hi! Johnís answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and Iíll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

    6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didnít lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, donít worry, I have LOTS of money.

    5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why weíre not here. So, leave a message.

    4. Hello! If you leave a message, Iíll call you soon. If you leave a ďsexyĒ message, Iíll call sooner.

    3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

    2. Hi. Iím probably home; Iím just avoiding someone I donít like. Leave me a message, and if I donít call back, itís you.

    1. Hello, youíve reached Jim and Sonya. We canít pick up the phone right now, because weíre doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to rightÖreal slow. So leave a message, and when weíre done brushing our teeth, weíll call you back .

  2. #2
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    SW Iowa
    Funny :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

  3. #3
    harrishwhippets's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Sarasota, Fl
    Love these I'm changing mine now. Thanks

  4. #4
    Senior Member Sandy1951's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Loudonville, Ohio
    These are so funny! I'm tempted to put the last one on our machine. I've been showing/telling jokes from this section to my hubby. He loves them. He's a great joke teller, so I'm sure he's passing them on at work.

  5. #5
    Super Member joeyoz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    LOL :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I like number 7. It's cute and original. :lol: :lol: :lol:

  6. #6
    k3n is offline
    Power Poster k3n's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Somerset, England
    Blog Entries
    Funny! Hey, Harrishwhippets, which one are you going for? :mrgreen:

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