Go Back  Quiltingboard Forums > General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
A Letter from an Irish Mother to her son - No offense to the Irish intended >

A Letter from an Irish Mother to her son - No offense to the Irish intended

A Letter from an Irish Mother to her son - No offense to the Irish intended

Thread Tools
 
Old 03-03-2011, 06:17 AM
  #1  
Super Member
Thread Starter
 
Tussymussy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: UK side of the pond
Posts: 1,812
Default

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well.

You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Irish family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

Your father's got a really good job now. He's got 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.

Your sister Mary had a baby this morning but I haven't found out if it's a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an auntie or an uncle.

Your brother Tom is still in the army. He's only been there a short while and they've already made him a court martial!

Your Uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in the DublinBrewery. Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely. They cremated him and it took three days to put out the fire.

I'm sorry to say that your cousin Seamus was arrested while riding his bicycle last week. They are charging him with dope peddling.

I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father went with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice this week, first for three days and then for four days Monday was so windy one of the chickens laid the same egg four times.

We had a letter from the undertaker. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in seven days, up she comes.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Your loving Mum.


P.S. I was going to send you some money but I had already sealed the envelope.
Tussymussy is offline  
Old 03-03-2011, 06:23 AM
  #2  
Super Member
 
maryb119's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Iowa
Posts: 8,107
Default

Funny!!
maryb119 is offline  
Old 03-03-2011, 06:28 AM
  #3  
Power Poster
 
erstan947's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 12,166
Default

Sounds like a Louisiana redneck to me:)
erstan947 is offline  
Old 03-03-2011, 06:52 AM
  #4  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: porter ok
Posts: 1,310
Default

That is so cute !!!!
Enchanted Quilter is offline  
Old 03-03-2011, 06:56 AM
  #5  
Senior Member
 
quilter41's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: N Indiana
Posts: 518
Default

Didn't find this funny. The Irish aren't stupid.
quilter41 is offline  
Old 03-03-2011, 06:57 AM
  #6  
Super Member
 
ssgramma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Bowling Green, KY
Posts: 2,024
Default

LMBO!
ssgramma is offline  
Old 03-03-2011, 07:00 AM
  #7  
Super Member
 
redkimba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: North Texas
Posts: 1,713
Default

I've read this before - you can pretty much put any group in there. Funniest version is with Aggies. :P
redkimba is offline  
Old 03-03-2011, 08:41 AM
  #8  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: indiana
Posts: 1,379
Default

lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dar
dar627742 is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
craftybear
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
5119
Yesterday 03:55 PM
QuiltnNan
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
12
12-15-2012 10:05 PM
Radiana
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
8
08-26-2011 05:20 AM
sueisallaboutquilts
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
110
08-18-2011 12:26 PM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



FREE Quilting Newsletter