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Thread: Merry Christmas To My Female Friends.....

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas To My Female Friends.....

    Merry Christmas To My Female Friends



    If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do

    I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you

    And deliver some things just inside your front door

    Things you have lost, but treasured before.



    I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,

    And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.

    Then restore the old color that once graced your hair

    Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.



    I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted

    So things now suspended need not be uplifted.

    I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back

    Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.



    I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin

    So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.

    You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,

    And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.



    No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,

    No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.

    Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,

    From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.



    You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.

    And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.

    Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid,

    You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.



    I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,

    And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.

    But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me,

    The matronest of matrons you ever did see.



    I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,

    But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.

    Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere,

    Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.
    I quilt, therefore I am.

  2. #2
    Super Member patski's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas and may you continue to bring a smile to all of us in 2012
    Patski
    always learning

  3. #3
    Super Member SouthPStitches's Avatar
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    Thank you Ditter. You can be my Santa anytime. Happy Holidays.

  4. #4
    Super Member Vicki W's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas Ditter, Best Wishes to you and yours.
    Vicki W

  5. #5
    Super Member amyjo's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas all and a Happy New Year. May you make all the quilts you dream of this coming year.

  6. #6
    Junior Member sewmuchlove's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter. I know you were a comedian because I've read all your funny jokes and post. Now I know you can be a poet, angel, and Santa. This was sweet, cute, and even gave me a chuckle.
    Merry Christmas to you, and God's blessing, good health, and joy in the New Year. Keep doing whatever you have been doing because you're great.
    Seize the moments,
    Mary Frances

  7. #7
    Super Member Thumbelina's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter. Hope all our friends on the board have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

  8. #8
    Super Member
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    Thanks Ditter, Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

  9. #9
    Super Member
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    Hi Ditter, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, wishing you many more. Barb
    be happy

  10. #10
    Super Member quiltsillysandi's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas to you too Ditter!
    Have an inspring day!
    Sandi

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