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Thread: Merry Christmas To My Female Friends.....

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas To My Female Friends.....

    Merry Christmas To My Female Friends



    If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do

    I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you

    And deliver some things just inside your front door

    Things you have lost, but treasured before.



    I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor,

    And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.

    Then restore the old color that once graced your hair

    Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.



    I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted

    So things now suspended need not be uplifted.

    I'd draw in your tummy and smooth down your back

    Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.



    I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin

    So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.

    You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,

    And you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.



    No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,

    No searching for spectacles when they're right on your nose.

    Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,

    From a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.



    You'd never have a headache, so no pills would you take.

    And no heating pad needed since your muscles won't ache.

    Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid,

    You'd be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.



    I'd give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,

    And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.

    But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me,

    The matronest of matrons you ever did see.



    I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I've got,

    But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.

    Even though we've grown older, this wish is sincere,

    Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.
    I quilt, therefore I am.

  2. #2
    Super Member patski's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas and may you continue to bring a smile to all of us in 2012
    Patski
    always learning

  3. #3
    Super Member SouthPStitches's Avatar
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    Thank you Ditter. You can be my Santa anytime. Happy Holidays.

  4. #4
    Super Member Vicki W's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas Ditter, Best Wishes to you and yours.
    Vicki W

  5. #5
    Super Member amyjo's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas all and a Happy New Year. May you make all the quilts you dream of this coming year.

  6. #6
    Junior Member sewmuchlove's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter. I know you were a comedian because I've read all your funny jokes and post. Now I know you can be a poet, angel, and Santa. This was sweet, cute, and even gave me a chuckle.
    Merry Christmas to you, and God's blessing, good health, and joy in the New Year. Keep doing whatever you have been doing because you're great.
    Seize the moments,
    Mary Frances

  7. #7
    Super Member Thumbelina's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter. Hope all our friends on the board have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

  8. #8
    Super Member
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    Thanks Ditter, Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

  9. #9
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    Hi Ditter, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, wishing you many more. Barb
    be happy

  10. #10
    Super Member quiltsillysandi's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas to you too Ditter!
    Have an inspring day!
    Sandi

  11. #11
    Super Member hikingquilter's Avatar
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    Thanks, Ditter. Merry Christmas to you too!

  12. #12
    Super Member GABBYABBY's Avatar
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    Red face

    Merry Christmas Ditter!!!!

  13. #13
    Super Member
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    Merry Christmas to you Ditter and all others who read this post.

  14. #14
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    What wonderful sentiment. Thank you Ditter43, what a wonderful way to wake up this morning.
    Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or whatever! AND Happy New Year!

  15. #15
    Super Member Rann's Avatar
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    Thank you Ditter. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and happy Hanukkah to all.
    If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

  16. #16
    Super Member KarenK's Avatar
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    Thank you Ditter! Wishing everyone Happy Holidays and a Joyous New Year.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Connie M.'s Avatar
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    Whoa, I wish you were Santa, too, but I dont know what my family would do if they woke up Christmas morning, and there was some young chico in my place. My husband probably couldn't take the shock, and grandkids would be worried that the young one couldn't cook!!!

  18. #18
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    thanks Ditter, blessings to you and yours.

  19. #19
    Super Member sandybuttons's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas

  20. #20
    Senior Member estherblair's Avatar
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    Thank you i needed that and a very merry joyful cChristmas to you & yours
    Esther Blair Alabama

  21. #21
    Super Member toadmomma's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas, and a great new year
    Deb T

  22. #22
    Super Member Crossstitcher's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas to you and yours Ditter. Keep the stories coming in 2012. I have enjoyed everyone of the 2011's.
    Quilting with a friend keeps me in stitches.

    Trish

  23. #23
    Senior Member MisDixie's Avatar
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    Thank you Ditter! Thats just what I needed and I will send it off to my girl friends. God Bless and keep us laughing in 2012! Merry Christmas, Dixie

  24. #24
    Super Member Yooper32's Avatar
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    And a very Merry Christmas to you Ditter, bringer of great morning laughs for us all.
    Yooper32 aka: Donna B

  25. #25
    Super Member quiltaroni's Avatar
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    Wonderful seasonal wishes to you and yours,always cheered by your smiling avatar

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