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Thread: Murder at costco

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Murder at costco

    MURDER AT COSTCO




    Tired of constantly
    Being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.




    A 'friend of a friend'


    Put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000.





    The Husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside.


    Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.





    A few Days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.





    However, Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave The premises.



    Under intense Questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was a lso quickly arrested.


    The next day in the Newspaper, the headline declared...









    (You're going to hate me for this...)




    'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco
    I quilt, therefore I am.

  2. #2
    Super Member babyfireo4's Avatar
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    Hahahaha! Ditter, you never fail to crack me up Thanks for the laugh it was well needed today.
    http://babyfire04.blogspot.com/
    If it makes you happy, it's worth the time!

  3. #3
    Super Member
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    Laughing to myself

  4. #4
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    I was waiting for that one! great punch line!!!

  5. #5
    Super Member brushandthimble's Avatar
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    LOL. I will have to share with my DS when he gets home from work. He works at COSTCO
    After 2 years with the same signature I have been requested to remove it. Bye

  6. #6
    Super Member TFquilter's Avatar
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    Good one! I needed a good joke today..thanks..
    We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give....

  7. #7
    Senior Member Sandra-P's Avatar
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    Oh Good One! I didnt see that coming!
    Sandra

  8. #8
    Super Member MaryMo's Avatar
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    Yes, Ditter, I am going to hate you ... but gotta' finish laughing first .... and that may take awhile!
    Make it a scrappy happy day!

  9. #9
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
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    No, actually I love you! and your jokes!!!
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    Never regret growing older, its a privilege denied to many.
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

    Kitsie

  10. #10
    Super Member
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    Oh, Ditter! Again I'm out-right laughing. Where do you come up with all your "stories?"

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