Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Power Outage :-O HYSTERICAL !!!!

  1. #1
    Super Member grammy Dwynn's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    1,991
    Blog Entries
    2
    I laughed so hard when I was reading my email, thought I would share with you ;)

    POWER OUTAGE

    At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of "Guilty with an explanation."
    The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my Story.

    "Your Honor," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually
    kept. I was met with: 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier
    smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need
    you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip
    on this gown. Everything clear?' I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This
    ain't rocket science.' Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of
    horrors.

    With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left
    and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we
    can get everything?' 'Fine', I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out
    of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and
    finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my
    other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when
    we heard, then felt a zap!

    Complete darkness and the power went off! 'Oh, maintenance is working.
    Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda said, and headed for the door.

    'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.
    Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so
    you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'

    Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba
    and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me ... half-naked with part
    of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between
    glass! After exchanging a polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greeting, Bubba
    (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was
    off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
    Possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.' 'You bet, take care' Bubba replied
    and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery
    store.

    Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no
    attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power
    came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to
    lunch. Are we upset?'

    And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
    clamps...."

    The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said
    'Case Dismissed!!'..
    ;-) ;-)

  2. #2
    Super Member BrendaY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,816
    Blog Entries
    6
    FUNNY..... I think Belinda was lucky!

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Big Timber, Montana
    Posts
    152
    OMG!!!!!! That is a riot!!!

  4. #4
    Super Member lauriejo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    NE Ohio
    Posts
    3,316
    Ouch!
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  5. #5
    Super Member Teddybear Lady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    AR
    Posts
    2,582
    Quote Originally Posted by grammy Dwynn
    I laughed so hard when I was reading my email, thought I would share with you ;)

    POWER OUTAGE

    At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of "Guilty with an explanation."
    The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my Story.

    "Your Honor," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually
    kept. I was met with: 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier
    smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need
    you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip
    on this gown. Everything clear?' I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This
    ain't rocket science.' Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of
    horrors.

    With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left
    and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we
    can get everything?' 'Fine', I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out
    of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and
    finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my
    other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when
    we heard, then felt a zap!

    Complete darkness and the power went off! 'Oh, maintenance is working.
    Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda said, and headed for the door.

    'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.
    Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so
    you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'

    Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba
    and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me ... half-naked with part
    of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between
    glass! After exchanging a polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greeting, Bubba
    (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was
    off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
    Possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.' 'You bet, take care' Bubba replied
    and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery
    store.

    Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no
    attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power
    came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to
    lunch. Are we upset?'

    And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
    clamps...."

    The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said
    'Case Dismissed!!'..
    ;-) ;-)
    Don't you just love it when the girl clamps the thing down on you tight and says..."don't move". Where does she think I would go? I'm not going to leave "body parts" behind!! OUCH !!! is right!

  6. #6
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Ridgefield WA
    Posts
    4,861
    Blog Entries
    41
    Already sent to my female friends!

  7. #7
    Senior Member flowerjoy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Rural Kansas
    Posts
    640
    hahahahaha... thanks!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.