Aeroplane joke for a change
Qantas Airlines: Repair Division
In case you need a laugh: Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last.................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. |
Thanks, Ditter....all the funnier because the answers sound a bit like what my DD would have said.
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My favorite? "P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed." -- tooooooooo funny! Thanks!!!
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You made me laugh so hard I don't know if I can go to sleep now. I read somewhere that every deep belly laugh adds a certain number of minutes to your life....at this rate (with yoiur help), I'm gonna live forever!! Thanks for the chuckles.
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Hahahaha. I love the one about the lost engine!
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ROFL. Thanks, Ditter
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very funny...and typical aussie sense of humour
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Thanks Ditter!:thumbup:
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I have tears because I am laughing to much.
Ditter you always come up with the best jokes. |
I love you Ditter -keep'em comin- : )
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