Important questions for older folks.....funny!!
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Important Questions and answers
Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction. Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When done, you have a place to live. Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true? Where is it? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .." Q: How can I increase the heart rate of my over-60 year-old mate? A: Tell him you're pregnant. Q: How can I avoid that terrible curse of unsightly wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses. Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.. Q: Why should 60-plus people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car. Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem. Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon. Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads. Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember all these!" SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT? |
LOL Love it! Guilty of #10!
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Ditter43 you are such a refreshing person. I always stop and read what you have to say. Never fails to bring a smile to my face no mater how bad things seem to be. Thank you for the smiles and laughs.
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You've done it again. Always enjoy your posts.
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I laughed out loud at this one . Thanks !
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true? Where is it? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .." |
OMG ... almost wet myself when I read the one about fixing the crows feet!
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Thanks Ditter!:thumbup:
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As usual, you brought a smile and laugh. I send most of them on to friends and family. Thank you Ditter. God bless.
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How very true, I loved all of them..
THANKS for the uplift !!! |
How very true, I loved all of them..
THANKS for the uplift !!! |
Ditter 43: Many of your "topics" I find amusing. However, recently there have been a few =this thread for instance that I find offensive and wonder how they got thru a moderator. I did not finish reading this thread.
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Will have to send that to my "old" friends! Very funny.
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#7 is me--there are way to many white cars out there and i can never remember if it was row 1 or 10 that the car was last seen in
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#10 reminded me of when my dad would lose his glasses....he'd gather us 4 girls around and tell us to find them and don't come back till you do. After about an hour, we'd draw straws (we had a practically bald broom) to see who was going to go tell dad they were on his head.
Margee, surely you jest |
Ditter has the BEST sense of humor. Thanks again.
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Ok i finally quit laughing so i can type, those are sooo cute, thank you so much for the laughs Ditter, you are wonderful.
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Originally Posted by margee
(Post 5030513)
Ditter 43: Many of your "topics" I find amusing. However, recently there have been a few =this thread for instance that I find offensive and wonder how they got thru a moderator. I did not finish reading this thread.
By the way, the moderators have a sense of humor, you might get one for yourself!! Thank you |
Love them Ditter. Thanks for the laughs.
Hugs |
These are so true! I was out shopping a few weeks ago and when I got out of my Jeep I put on a pair of sunglasses. The people in the truck in front of me were smiling so I smiled back. Then they started outright laughing. I just smiled and went on into the store. Once inside I no longer needed the sunglasses so I pushed them to the top of my head, only to find another pair of sunglasses and two pair of readers already resting there!
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These are so true! I was out shopping a few weeks ago and when I got out of my Jeep I put on a pair of sunglasses. The people in the truck in front of me were smiling so I smiled back. Then they started outright laughing. I just smiled and went on into the store. Once inside I no longer needed the sunglasses so I pushed them to the top of my head, only to find another pair of sunglasses and two pair of readers already resting there!
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Thanks for the chuckle!
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Excellent....I especially like the one with the man living in basement!!!
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