Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q : I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q : What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A : So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. ?

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.


Q ? : Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.


Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Funny!!!

:):):)

where do you find this stuff ditter, too funny. keep them comin

Shall be sending that to my DD1 who is pregnant with No. 3
With her morning sickness this will give her a laugh.

Thanks for the laugh!

So funny

So funny and so true!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

I read this to my husband and he thinks it's very funny. Thank you for sharing.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

So glad those days are over.

HAHA, awesome. :D

OMGosh Ditter you did it again, that is just plain laugh out loud funny!!!

These were really good ones!!! Thank you for the laughs...Naomi :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

amen sister, amen!

I agree!!! Now that I am a grandmother, I get all the joy and love of babies without being pregnant!!! Just need to figure out how to have our grandchildren first. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Ditto!! :)

Ha too funny! I have a 10 month old and can totally relate.

Love this one, but the pic is the best. I had morning sickness all day long for eight straight months.

Thanks Ditter! :thumbup: :thumbup:

Thanks for the smiles, just common sense.

GOOTA LOVE THEM KEEP THEM COMMING I REALLY LIKE THOSE CLEAN FUNNIES.

:-D :-D :-D

Absolutely wonderful!

Wonderful way to start the day. Welcome back!

Very funny Ditter. Thanks for the smile.

OH man I have to agree !! No more of those days for us either !! Not that I don't love and didn't enjoy having the kids around (especially to make fun of <GRIN> when they did silly stuff), but oh man the toll it takes on the body and mind after LOL

I really appreciate your humorous posts... they make me laugh out loud and sometimes I really need to do that! Hugs to you!

Hilarious :lol: :lol: :lol:
Started my day with a smile.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Must print this one out for my future dil and dd! Funny and true!

Ditter, you are so wonderful. I needed that chuckle this morning, Thanx

Ah, yes. I remember it well!

Very funny!

LOVE IT!!! My daughter is 35 and just found out she is pregnant. Her other kids are 13 and 11. She's kind of surprised - but like Mother like Daughter. She was 13 when her little sister was born - and her brothers were 14 and 16.

Read this to my DH, we both laughed at all of 'em. Thanks for the giggle!!

So glad you're back! All true, even in retrospect! Thanks.

Hi Ditter, see you're still doing things to make us take a moment to laugh. :thumbup: Thanks, we needed that!!!!

Too funny. I've missed all your great jokes. Keep them coming.

Good to see you back Ditter,making us giggle as usual.