A friend (another quilter with a stash and who hinted she wants me to write her name on the Will below) sent me this today:
"Being of sound mind and body (a statement that does not bear close scrutiny), I, ______________________
do hereby record this my last will and testament.
Knowing that __________________________, my husband and/or family member, has no appreciation or, for that matter, knowledge, of my extensive fabric collection which, by the way, is deposited in various places throughout my house for safe-keeping, and knowing also that he has plans to notify the Goodwill store should I precede him to that great "quilt shop" in the sky, to pick up and dispose of the aforementioned collection.
Therefore, I do WILL this collection and all other collections related to it, to my dear fellow fabric preservationist, ____________________________. It is my wish that she, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear proof that I did not manage (although goodness knows I tried) to take it with me, will come to my home, before the Goodwill store arrives and search out my collection.
That she should rescue said collection and stack in my quilting room, along with my sewing machines, frames, old buttons, lace, patterns, quilts, dolls and works in progress.
After she has done that, she should purchase refreshments for all my quilting friends, not yet departed, which friends are also her friends, and every last one shall be in that room, and they shall hold a wake and say lots of lovely and kind things about me and my quilts until they run out, and then they should divide amongst themselves my wonderful collection.
Be forewarned! I shall be hovering over that very spot until this is done.
She shall then leave this spot and close the door, leaving the car, house, stocks, bonds, and other worldly nonsense to those who don't understand fabric stashes or know any better.
This is my wish on this matter.