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Thread: Twenty nine lines to make you smile!!!

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    Location
    Crystal River Florida
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    9,466
    BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!


    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

    7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

    10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.



    11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

    12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?


    16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

    17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    18. Procrastinate Now!

    19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

    20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
    advance.

    22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

    23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

    24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

    25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.


    26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)

    27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.



    28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

    29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

  2. #2
    Super Member Grama Lehr's Avatar
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    Jun 2009
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    Rancho Cucamonga, CA
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    Oh Ditter!! I have missed all of your funnies! :lol:

  3. #3
    Power Poster
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    lol

  4. #4
    Super Member isnthatodd's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
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    Garland, TX
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    2,296
    This will be sent to all my friends ASAP. Thanks for the laugh.

  5. #5
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    Mar 2011
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    :lol: :lol:

  6. #6
    Super Member Tink's Mom's Avatar
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    chicago, IL
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    Thanks, I needed that! :thumbup:

  7. #7
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
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    martinsville Indiana
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    4,338
    # 2 says thats me!

  8. #8
    Super Member jojosnana's Avatar
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    Oct 2010
    Location
    Farmington Hills, Michigan
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    Ditter,
    Have to say I love #1.....

  9. #9
    Super Member Ripped on Scotch's Avatar
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    Apr 2010
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    Ontario Canada
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    thats too funny!

  10. #10
    Power Poster
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    Mar 2011
    Location
    Minnesota
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    13,147
    Ditter does it again! (you made me laugh out loud)
    Thank you!

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