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Thread: Twenty nine lines to make you smile!!!

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!


    1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

    2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

    7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

    10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.



    11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

    12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?


    16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

    17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    18. Procrastinate Now!

    19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

    20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
    advance.

    22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

    23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

    24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

    25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.


    26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)

    27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.



    28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

    29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

  2. #2
    Super Member Grama Lehr's Avatar
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    Oh Ditter!! I have missed all of your funnies! :lol:

  3. #3
    Power Poster
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    lol

  4. #4
    Super Member isnthatodd's Avatar
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    This will be sent to all my friends ASAP. Thanks for the laugh.

  5. #5
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol:

  6. #6
    Super Member Tink's Mom's Avatar
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    Thanks, I needed that! :thumbup:

  7. #7
    Super Member leatheflea's Avatar
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    # 2 says thats me!

  8. #8
    Super Member jojosnana's Avatar
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    Ditter,
    Have to say I love #1.....

  9. #9
    Super Member Ripped on Scotch's Avatar
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    thats too funny!

  10. #10
    Power Poster
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    Ditter does it again! (you made me laugh out loud)
    Thank you!

  11. #11
    Senior Member kraftykimberly's Avatar
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    Ditter Ditter Ditter, you never cease to amaze me !!! (and crack me up) :-)

  12. #12
    Super Member QuiltnLady1's Avatar
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    Thanks for the chuckles!

  13. #13
    Super Member Kitsie's Avatar
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    Ditter, you MUST realize how much we all rely on you!
    Love your sense of humor!

  14. #14
    Super Member
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    THANKS,I needed a good laugh.

  15. #15
    Super Member bjnicholson's Avatar
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    Yep, you did it again! Thanks!!!

  16. #16
    Junior Member
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    You are great! Love your funnies!

  17. #17
    Senior Member Millstream Mom's Avatar
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    Thanks Ditter! You made my day!

  18. #18
    Senior Member Jo Mama's Avatar
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    These are so funny. I'm going to print them and take them to my weekly sewing group. They will be hysterical. Thanks.

  19. #19
    Super Member rusty quilter's Avatar
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    Love them all, and like most good humor, there is a grain of truth in all of these statements!

  20. #20
    Senior Member mizkyp's Avatar
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    Ditter, I think I'm #29

  21. #21
    Super Member SherriB's Avatar
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    I love these!! I may have to put one (or more!) in my siggy line.

  22. #22
    Super Member Pickles's Avatar
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    A Winner Ditter, thanks for the laughs

  23. #23
    Super Member dilyn's Avatar
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    Wonderful!

  24. #24
    Member
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    Ditter, you always brighten my day !

  25. #25
    Super Member
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    lol ditto Barb

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