We Are Under Attack!!!!!

Old 09-13-2013, 11:46 AM
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Default We Are Under Attack!!!!!

THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!

We Must Stop This Immediately!!!

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper? Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection…well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning:

WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
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Old 09-13-2013, 01:38 PM
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Funny, but feels so true.
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Old 09-13-2013, 01:54 PM
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I'm there with you!
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Old 09-13-2013, 03:48 PM
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Oh and another thing the print is so small on some of the OTC meds that you can't read them even with your reading glasses. It is a conspiracy for sure.
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Old 09-13-2013, 03:52 PM
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The telephone books are using false ads. They are called the talking telephone book, and the dumb thing just sits there. It hasn't said a word since I brought it into the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 09-13-2013, 04:05 PM
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Tee hee hee
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Old 09-14-2013, 04:04 AM
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You are too cute. I'm in the same boat, I get so frightened every time I pass a mirror, I don't know who that person is I see in the mirror! From inside me everything looks the same as it always has but that person I see in the mirror sure is different, I must be seeing my mom's ghost!
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Old 09-14-2013, 04:32 AM
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What I do nt understand is why my Mother is in my mirror every time I walk by. She lives 8 miles away.
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Old 09-14-2013, 04:36 AM
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I need to put my reading/computer glasses on to read what you wrote. Some one is either messing with mine or yours! LOL!
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Old 09-14-2013, 04:38 AM
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I looked in the mirror the other day too and my neck is missing!
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