cry under water?
important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
a round pizza come in a square box?
disease did cured ham actually have?
it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it
that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf
person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
E.. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
you just try singing the two songs above?
they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?
do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?
is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?
do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so,
why do we say,'It's all right?'
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay,
then it's you!