The "worthy," why are we so hard on them?
12-27-2010, 08:39 PM
#1
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I totally understand being disappointed when someone doesn't appreciate the effort made for them.
But honestly, how is someone supposed to feel when they are given a gift that they don't appreciate the colors, don't know what they are going to do with it, and/or have absolutely no idea why someone would make them a handmade gift?
I know what I like. There are some fabrics that I plain just don't like. I personally don't think the BT bag is the second coming. Its my opinion, but I think its kind of goofy to make a cowboy purse to match a cowboy outfit. It is perfectly fine if you do, but if someone gave me a cowboy bow tucks bag. I would be dumbfounded as to what to do with it. I know that the creator put much effort into that bag, but if the creator really knew me, and thought I was "worth" it, why don't they know me well enough to know that I have no USE for the cowboy purse?
I read the post of the person who made purses, and the recipients were less than squealing, but I personally wouldn't want someone making me a purse, AND I SEW. I like to pick out my own. And honestly with all the people on here who nitpick that people don't treat their goods properly, I would be afraid to use aforementioned gift in front of the creator, lest they should think I wasn't using it properly.
I read a post earlier from someone who said that a grandson had told her he didn't want a quilt. So....guess what....she didn't make him one. She is a genius. (I did like the idea, to make one and put it away, should he ever change his mind). But honestly if you are going to pour hours of your life into something, wouldn't you like to KNOW that the recipient is going to appreciate your work?
Last year, I agonized over giving a quilt to the M-I-L. I was worried because we were buying the SF-I-L a gift and the MIL was getting the quilt, and I didn't want HER to feel slighted. The husband reassured me that MIL would probably cry if I gave it to her, so I stitched along. Sure enough, she loves its, and the quilt is regularly used.
This year, I thought about making a quilt for the SIL. She is 10. I KNEW she wouldn't appreciate it, but I was just going to make it a BONUS gift, along with her video games. In the end, after conferring with the mother (this would be S-MIL, not the MIL mentioned above), we determined that halfway completed quilt pink/yellows, greens color palette would not be a good match for SIL's new fondness for black and blue.
Surely, you KNOW these people that you have decided to pour blood sweat and tears into making these gifts. Surely you KNOW their personal style if you are making them a gift that is intended to compliment their personal style. SURELY you know what their preference is in a color palette. If you don't know these things, why are you starting to begin with?
I realize that it is hard to make something and have it not appreciated, but everyone has their own personal taste, and anything in opposition to that whether storebought or handmade is not going to be appreciated.
But honestly, how is someone supposed to feel when they are given a gift that they don't appreciate the colors, don't know what they are going to do with it, and/or have absolutely no idea why someone would make them a handmade gift?
I know what I like. There are some fabrics that I plain just don't like. I personally don't think the BT bag is the second coming. Its my opinion, but I think its kind of goofy to make a cowboy purse to match a cowboy outfit. It is perfectly fine if you do, but if someone gave me a cowboy bow tucks bag. I would be dumbfounded as to what to do with it. I know that the creator put much effort into that bag, but if the creator really knew me, and thought I was "worth" it, why don't they know me well enough to know that I have no USE for the cowboy purse?
I read the post of the person who made purses, and the recipients were less than squealing, but I personally wouldn't want someone making me a purse, AND I SEW. I like to pick out my own. And honestly with all the people on here who nitpick that people don't treat their goods properly, I would be afraid to use aforementioned gift in front of the creator, lest they should think I wasn't using it properly.
I read a post earlier from someone who said that a grandson had told her he didn't want a quilt. So....guess what....she didn't make him one. She is a genius. (I did like the idea, to make one and put it away, should he ever change his mind). But honestly if you are going to pour hours of your life into something, wouldn't you like to KNOW that the recipient is going to appreciate your work?
Last year, I agonized over giving a quilt to the M-I-L. I was worried because we were buying the SF-I-L a gift and the MIL was getting the quilt, and I didn't want HER to feel slighted. The husband reassured me that MIL would probably cry if I gave it to her, so I stitched along. Sure enough, she loves its, and the quilt is regularly used.
This year, I thought about making a quilt for the SIL. She is 10. I KNEW she wouldn't appreciate it, but I was just going to make it a BONUS gift, along with her video games. In the end, after conferring with the mother (this would be S-MIL, not the MIL mentioned above), we determined that halfway completed quilt pink/yellows, greens color palette would not be a good match for SIL's new fondness for black and blue.
Surely, you KNOW these people that you have decided to pour blood sweat and tears into making these gifts. Surely you KNOW their personal style if you are making them a gift that is intended to compliment their personal style. SURELY you know what their preference is in a color palette. If you don't know these things, why are you starting to begin with?
I realize that it is hard to make something and have it not appreciated, but everyone has their own personal taste, and anything in opposition to that whether storebought or handmade is not going to be appreciated.
12-27-2010, 08:46 PM
#3
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Murray, Ky. Looking for a nice cushy pillow to rest my head on!
Posts: 14,022
My goodness honey you have been doing a lot of thinking. I only make things for those who I know would appreciate it. That's why my in-laws will never get anything from me homemade or store bought, especially the FIL.
12-27-2010, 08:53 PM
#4
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17,068
I totally disagree. Yes, I have my own taste but I accept gifts graciously b/c of the thought and time/work, whatever went into the decision to give me something.
My MIL has the worst taste of anyone I've ever known!! Over the years she has given all of us absolutely nothing we would ever want or use and that includes my DH (her son) me, and our 3 kids.
We would never let her know b/c it gives her great joy to shop, wrap etc.
It doesn't matter in the long run. We'd rather see her happy. The stuff goes to Goodwill and places like that. She is none the wiser.
My MIL has the worst taste of anyone I've ever known!! Over the years she has given all of us absolutely nothing we would ever want or use and that includes my DH (her son) me, and our 3 kids.
We would never let her know b/c it gives her great joy to shop, wrap etc.
It doesn't matter in the long run. We'd rather see her happy. The stuff goes to Goodwill and places like that. She is none the wiser.
12-27-2010, 08:58 PM
#5
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Idaho
Posts: 11,375
My Mom is the only one who ever made me quilted items and she is gone now, so I would be thrilled for someone to give me one. Even if it weren't my favorite colors/pattern I would be still be thrilled to know someone cared enough about me to make and give me a quilted item.
12-27-2010, 09:04 PM
#6
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 768
I read a post the other day from someone who made quilts for everyone, and described each person's reaction. I myself am not a squealer nor do I jump up and down. My daughter is very quiet and reserved. It doesn't mean we don't like something though. I don't cry in front of everyone either....so just because you don't get a crazy reaction doesn't always mean that the reception is lukewarm or whatever.
12-27-2010, 09:05 PM
#8
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Posts: n/a
Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
I totally disagree. Yes, I have my own taste but I accept gifts graciously b/c of the thought and time/work, whatever went into the decision to give me something.
My MIL has the worst taste of anyone I've ever known!! Over the years she has given all of us absolutely nothing we would ever want or use and that includes my DH (her son) me, and our 3 kids.
We would never let her know b/c it gives her great joy to shop, wrap etc.
It doesn't matter in the long run. We'd rather see her happy. The stuff goes to Goodwill and places like that. She is none the wiser.
My MIL has the worst taste of anyone I've ever known!! Over the years she has given all of us absolutely nothing we would ever want or use and that includes my DH (her son) me, and our 3 kids.
We would never let her know b/c it gives her great joy to shop, wrap etc.
It doesn't matter in the long run. We'd rather see her happy. The stuff goes to Goodwill and places like that. She is none the wiser.
And yet people here complain when the quilt gets put in the goodwill pile? What will maw maw think when she finds out?
I do agree, that all gifts should be accepted with gratitute. But you cannot feign excitement. And I can think of many ways to help maw maw in her shopping habits if these gifts are truly detestable.
12-27-2010, 09:24 PM
#9
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Emmitsburg, MD
Posts: 1,599
I think the gift is the time and effort that goes into a handmade item. It's three minutes to click and buy something online for someone, and four hours to make a purse. Either item might be a mistake in style, color, etc., but knowing someone took the time to do something special they thought I would like is worth the gratitude.
However, many people don't know what goes into a handmade gift and would likely be shocked at the time and effort, not to mention the money, it takes to put together a gift like this.
It's disappointing for the giver, very much so. But forgivable, and a lesson learned when it happens.
However, many people don't know what goes into a handmade gift and would likely be shocked at the time and effort, not to mention the money, it takes to put together a gift like this.
It's disappointing for the giver, very much so. But forgivable, and a lesson learned when it happens.
12-27-2010, 09:36 PM
#10
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17,068
Originally Posted by alimaui
Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
I totally disagree. Yes, I have my own taste but I accept gifts graciously b/c of the thought and time/work, whatever went into the decision to give me something.
My MIL has the worst taste of anyone I've ever known!! Over the years she has given all of us absolutely nothing we would ever want or use and that includes my DH (her son) me, and our 3 kids.
We would never let her know b/c it gives her great joy to shop, wrap etc.
It doesn't matter in the long run. We'd rather see her happy. The stuff goes to Goodwill and places like that. She is none the wiser.
My MIL has the worst taste of anyone I've ever known!! Over the years she has given all of us absolutely nothing we would ever want or use and that includes my DH (her son) me, and our 3 kids.
We would never let her know b/c it gives her great joy to shop, wrap etc.
It doesn't matter in the long run. We'd rather see her happy. The stuff goes to Goodwill and places like that. She is none the wiser.
And yet people here complain when the quilt gets put in the goodwill pile? What will maw maw think when she finds out?
I do agree, that all gifts should be accepted with gratitute. But you cannot feign excitement. And I can think of many ways to help maw maw in her shopping habits if these gifts are truly detestable.
If she made quilts that would be a different story. But I guarantee her fabric choices would match her other choices!! lol I would NEVER give a quilt to Goodwill if she made one.
Frankly, she's bought so much for so many over the years I doubt she keeps track of who got what.(5 kids, 16 grands)
She's never once asked anyone where is the sweater, vase, etc.
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