Do you have trouble giving them away? I am making a quilt for a someone who is having a baby in Feb..She is a young girl and don't think she will understand how much time has been put in making it..probably will chunk it once the baby is older or if doesn't go with her decor in baby room...The closer I get to finishing it I am having second thoughts..Now don't get me wrong I wanted to make something for her but I wish I had done a simple quilt..and smaller..Do I have the wrong attitude about this....?? I am new to quilting and didn't realize how time goes into quilting...I will give it to her but was wondering for next time what do ya'll do for gifts? And what size?

I totally agree with you. It is hard to give when you know the person does not realize all the work and cost that goes into making a quilt.

As has been said in previous posts, you just have to let go and hope they will use the quilt, but also respect your work. That is hard.

Made a quilt for my granddaughter for Christmas and I know that it will not be taken care of. I am trying to forget! My grandsons on DH's side asked for one too and I did not commit - that family does not take care of anything! My daughter has 4 boys too and I will not make them anything large either. Have made one for my oldest grandson and he has gone back to live with his father, so I have not sent it to him yet. I may just save it for when he graduates from High School!

why do you assume she won't appreciate it or take care of it?

if you have evidence to back up your assumption and you already know it will bother you then don't give her the quilt. save it for somebody else or donate it to charity.

don't set yourself up for a case of the grumpies. ;-)

this seems to be a common concern with some people on the forum.

lucky for me i don't ever feel this way because i've seen some really heartbreaking posts here from people just torn up that their loved ones didn't respect the quilt the way they should have. some people are on the verge of tears over this issue.

maybe the key is to make and give a quilt gift that you feel you can truly give without any strings attached or bad feelings if its not cherished the way you expected.

if that translate to the construction and time spent working on it then make those changes or if its means buying less expensive fabrics make those changes.

once a quilt leaves my possession i never give it another thought or concern - its their quilt now to do what ever they want with it - it truly makes no difference to me.

i've seen my quilts hanging in places of honor in their new homes and i've seen them as pet blankets and i think both uses are wonderful.

You have the right attitude Klue..As long as your heart is right when you give that is your blessing what they do with that gift is their blessing? Shame on me!

Sometimes it is hard to give quilts away after all the time, energy and effort put into them. However, I make them to be used. I would rather see one "loved to death" than it whole and perfect when the child is an adult....

I agree with Klue too but you could mention to the girl to be sure to keep the quilt for a next child or children to come along.

Most of us have been in this position before. recently I went through this and was given good advice. Let it go! I did so, and was surprised at the welcome the quilt got. First time I had felt like this. A gift is just that , a gift. So, let it go! You may be surprised also!

I have to admit, when I am not sure of the response, I usually make a less complicated quilt. I do try to give (and release attachment to) quilts as often as I can.

I agree with klue...When I am making a quilt to give someone, I don't have a problem giving it anyway. I hope that they appreciate the work involved in making it especially for them..but I want them to love it and use it, and if it gets ripped from use...well I can fix it.

Now if I am making one because I love the fabric or the pattern, I can't even think about giving it away. It's mine!!!!

I used to feel that way. Now I just give them with the message to use them, enjoy them, and if you wear them out I'll make you another. I just made two for my DD to give to her fiancees mom and dad (divorced so there are two families) One said "thanks, we'll be using this" and the other did a dance and called me to thank me for the quilt and tell me how much they loved it. Both made me happy in different ways.

I only put a lot of effort in baby quilts that I know will be appreciated and used but not abused. I keep a stack of baby quilts I've made from printed panels for baby showers. The best time to give a child a quilt is in the toddler stage. They love it.

I once meade a quilt for a single man. He had put time and work into a grouup we belonged to. I wanted to do someting special for him. Lots of thought and work went into the quilt. Then, I wondered what he might do with it. The final thought was that the worst he would do is give it to his dog. His dog was much loved and cared for. So, even that wouldn't be too bad. He did love it and put it on his wall.

You never know how people will react, so take a chance.

You can generally judge how well someone will care for any type of gift by looking at how well they care for the things they already have.

If you give a gift with conditions and expectations attached, then it really isn't a gift at all. It's a sale. And if the recipient does not pay you what it is that you expect, you are guaranteed to be disappointed and resentful.

when I make a quilt for someone else, it is fabrics that they like. Whether they have me pick it out and do the shopping or they do it themselves, it is still their taste not mine. I will, however, buy my own fabric that may be the same in case i like what they like. I could never make a quilt and give it a new home out of my favorite fabric unless I have enough fabric available for myself. Selfish, maybe. But it helps with the loss of a quilt. I am only human. :)

I was thinking about making one for a new neighbor who does not have much. My sister said that I cannot say anything if the kids take it outside and sit on it in the dirt. Now I am not so sure I want to do it.

If it is going to bother you, keep this quilt and make a quick quilt, with little time or effort into it and give them that one :D:D:D
I make utility type quilts to be used and used and used...if it gets worn out, I will replace them :D:D:D No worries...no disappointments :D:D:D

I just use less expensive fabrics to make them , when I am not sure how they will be used. Do we really know how the quilts we make for charities are used? We don't see where they go and how they are treated. So I don't let it bother me so much.

while I really do aspire to be able to give away a quilt that has taken many hours to complete, I'm not 100% there yet. So here's what I do in the meantime - For baby quilts I make them really simple, durable yet adorable using 5 or 6 inch squares of pastel chenille with coordinating baby flannel squares. The layout varies depending on what fabrics I'm using, my mood, etc. I do simple machine quilting - sometimes just in the ditch and tie a little bow on the chenille squares. I've loved every one I've made and have zero problem giving them away. I tell the recipient that the quilt was made to be used and can be washed like old jeans. It feels great to make and give away these little covers of love. In time I hope I'll be able to let go more easily of the quilts I treasure.

A basic utility quilt can withstand a lot of abuse. (I should know coz I sure abuse mine.) A quilt can be such a personal gift and we want this gift to be appreciated. The only strings that should be attached to a quilt is "to love it to death." Whatever that means to the recipient.

If you suspect that the quilt will not be treated well or appreciated, get a Target gift card and use the quilt for a different occasion.

Maybe practicing setting your quilts free with a charity would help. I'm not that attached to the quilts once they're out and about. I keep a journal with pics, though I rarely review it. As others have said, I send it on it's merry way with lots of love and no worry. I have heard back about one of my quilts that has traveled with it's little Miss from Indiana to Oregon...and now to Japan!! It's still going strong and doing it's job---keeping a little one wrapped in love. I never in my wildest dreams thought that my very first quilt would still be in tact, much less traveling farther than I have. Best Wishes and HAPPY QUILTING,
RETRO.

:lol: :lol: Make the quilt and then go over and join the kids in their "afternoon tea" :lol: :lol:

I agree, I made a bunny for my daughter when I was in a knitting stage and within a month she wanted to sell it for a QUARTER!!! That thing took forever to make since I'm so slow and I don't want to ever have that happen again..... especially when its a quilt(how could people not want to keep them forever, lol)

buy the bunny for the quarter. when she's ready to go away to college she'll want it back. offer to sell it to her for $10.

better yet, wait until she's "with" her first child. you can easily get $50 for it then.

:lol:

I had babies in my early 20s and cherished everything given to me. I still have the wallhangings that were sewn for their rooms. Possibly you may give her the benefit of the doubt and happily give her the quilt.

I like that idea... very smart, hehe.

I began quilting about 14 years ago. My first baby quilt was for DGD Josi who is now 13. Fabrics weren't the best and the batting the cheapest poly. This quilt is still going strong after years of daily use and picnics in the back yard. Last year Josi told me it was too small for her especially when she went to friends for sleepovers. I made her a Big Girl lap sized quilt using better fabrics and best poly batting I could find because this quilt will also be used, washed and dried many, many times. Only best fabrics, threads, batting and patterns are for older family and friends who will appreciate the time and effort I put into their quilts. Baby shower quilts are made with good fabrics and simple designs and quilting, and when the child gets older they get a lap size quilt. My nieces have all commented how much they and their babies like the quilts and how easy they are to take care of. All my grandkids have at least one quilt. All get lap sized for high school graduations and a few have twin sized ones for their beds. Now that one is getting married and another bought her own condo I'm thinking they'll need larger quilts - maybe some queen sized scrappy quilts that they can use as extra blankets. Have to keep adding to my scrap baskets. May in Jersey.

As a new quilter you begin to realize how much goes into making a quilt and therefore, you also realize that there are different quilts for different people. There really is nothing wrong with feeling this way, you must put into a quilt what fits each occasion. Then like others have said "Let it go" You will still find times of disappointment in the circumstances but it's okay.

I think a cheater quilt would be good for her. I crocheted my granddaughter an afghan about 20 years ago when she was born and it would up under the Christmas tree for a skirt and then a dog bed.

One thing I would suggest is that you include a nice card inside the gift package with a hand-written note about how you enjoyed the many hours of love you put into the quilt when making it for them, how you hope they enjoy it for years to come, etc., so that they get a sense of how you feel about it. Perhaps if they understand your sentiments about it, then it'll help them develop some of their own about it.

Patrice says it all. I made crib quilt for my Husbands niece. It was a precious moments panel with borders. The borders had a design on the 2 end and one side. About 8 inches plain. I didn't want to waste it so what i did because it was a large crib quilt I used some software I had that printed out letters in all kinds of ways. Printed out her name and appliqued her name on that border. The mom was maybe 19 was so proud she put it up for a heirloom and said when she got old enough to appreciate it she would give it to her. Well I made it to use and really thought it would be used,battered you know cause of the youth . You can never tell untill you do it. Gave one just as nice to a lady in her 30's saw it outside in yard. So do a Patrice suggests and you will know the next time. By the way Baby is now 7 yrs. old and mom still has it put up. LOL. I lost the pic. of that quilt in hurricane Jeanne. I need to get in touch with the mom and tell her to take a pic. so I will have one.
BillsBonBon

my dh really made a point of telling our grandson how many hours of "intense labor" went into his quilt. I had to turn my head and smile. He has just recently started to pay attention to the time I spent sewing.Too funny!
I know how you feel though, it is tough to put so much time in something and wonder if it will be appreciated. I decided from now on to just enjoy the process and try not to think about it once it's gone...sigh
Ditter

Nice way to put that! I agree.

I know it is difficult to give a quilt to someone who you believe will not appreciate it. It has to come from the heart, not the head. I make hundreds of charity quilts each year and with each one I try to say a prayer or thought of who might be the recipient as I am making it and that way I know I have my heart in the right place. That baby will be kept warm and snuggly even if the mother does not appreciate it. You will also have the joy of giving from your heart. Bless you for putting that little baby first.

The only time I ever changed my mind about giving a quilt to someone was a few years ago when my husband's neice had her first baby. I had once foolishly told her that I sometimes found vintage fabric for my quilts in older clothing at thrift shops.
When she was "expecting" she told me to please not make her a quilt using "dead people's" clothes. If I wanted to make her baby a quilt it had to be made with freshly purchased, new fabric.
I gave her a gift that I purchased for her, but it wasn't a quilt. I have felt funny about her ever since.

Oh, my! :shock: Just when I think I've about seen and heard it all, I realize that I haven't!

I have a cousin that purposely goes to estate sales to buy what she calls "dead people's clothes" and that is all she wears. I know this is not quilt related but I just had to giggle a little at your posting.

I would love it if someone gave me a quilt with "antique" fabrics in it. I treasure the quilts that my mom and my grandma made and I inherited. Grandma's has silk flowers appliqued on it and the silk is shredding. I took it to an appraiser and asked what I could do about it and she said..."Honey, just enjoy it and know that your grandma loved you".

Last year I made a rag quilt the shape of a dog to give to a girl here in town that was alot of time and money and really wished I had kept it. I put hangers on the back so she would put it on the wall and thats not where it is now. She put it in the crib and the baby sleeps on it. They were away for a week so I was taking care of their dogs and took a peek and seeing the shape it was in I just cried. She is pregnant again and I will not make her anything ever again. I was making a baby blanket for someone else recently and she seen it and asked if it was for her new baby and I just laughed and said yeah ahhhhh NO.
Some people just don't realize the time and money spent to make quilts. I hope she appretiates the quilt your making for her.

My 21 year old daughter just finished a baby quilt for her 21 year old friend. The friend couldn't even wait until it was finished to see it! She came over to the house while my daughter was still working on it. She is too excited. I guess it truly depends on the person who is receiving it, but the gift and love is the ultimate reason for the giving, not what the person chooses to do with it. Finish it, give it and feel good about it.