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Thread: Giving them away?

  1. #1
    Senior Member diannemc's Avatar
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    Do you have trouble giving them away? I am making a quilt for a someone who is having a baby in Feb..She is a young girl and don't think she will understand how much time has been put in making it..probably will chunk it once the baby is older or if doesn't go with her decor in baby room...The closer I get to finishing it I am having second thoughts..Now don't get me wrong I wanted to make something for her but I wish I had done a simple quilt..and smaller..Do I have the wrong attitude about this....?? I am new to quilting and didn't realize how time goes into quilting...I will give it to her but was wondering for next time what do ya'll do for gifts? And what size?

  2. #2
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
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    I totally agree with you. It is hard to give when you know the person does not realize all the work and cost that goes into making a quilt.

    As has been said in previous posts, you just have to let go and hope they will use the quilt, but also respect your work. That is hard.

    Made a quilt for my granddaughter for Christmas and I know that it will not be taken care of. I am trying to forget! My grandsons on DH's side asked for one too and I did not commit - that family does not take care of anything! My daughter has 4 boys too and I will not make them anything large either. Have made one for my oldest grandson and he has gone back to live with his father, so I have not sent it to him yet. I may just save it for when he graduates from High School!

  3. #3
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    why do you assume she won't appreciate it or take care of it?

    if you have evidence to back up your assumption and you already know it will bother you then don't give her the quilt. save it for somebody else or donate it to charity.

    don't set yourself up for a case of the grumpies. ;-)

  4. #4
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    this seems to be a common concern with some people on the forum.

    lucky for me i don't ever feel this way because i've seen some really heartbreaking posts here from people just torn up that their loved ones didn't respect the quilt the way they should have. some people are on the verge of tears over this issue.

    maybe the key is to make and give a quilt gift that you feel you can truly give without any strings attached or bad feelings if its not cherished the way you expected.

    if that translate to the construction and time spent working on it then make those changes or if its means buying less expensive fabrics make those changes.

    once a quilt leaves my possession i never give it another thought or concern - its their quilt now to do what ever they want with it - it truly makes no difference to me.

    i've seen my quilts hanging in places of honor in their new homes and i've seen them as pet blankets and i think both uses are wonderful.

  5. #5
    Senior Member diannemc's Avatar
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    You have the right attitude Klue..As long as your heart is right when you give that is your blessing what they do with that gift is their blessing? Shame on me!

  6. #6
    Super Member sewjoyce's Avatar
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    Sometimes it is hard to give quilts away after all the time, energy and effort put into them. However, I make them to be used. I would rather see one "loved to death" than it whole and perfect when the child is an adult....

  7. #7
    Super Member Darlene's Avatar
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    I agree with Klue too but you could mention to the girl to be sure to keep the quilt for a next child or children to come along.

  8. #8
    Power Poster Ninnie's Avatar
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    Most of us have been in this position before. recently I went through this and was given good advice. Let it go! I did so, and was surprised at the welcome the quilt got. First time I had felt like this. A gift is just that , a gift. So, let it go! You may be surprised also!

  9. #9
    Super Member Quilt Mom's Avatar
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    I have to admit, when I am not sure of the response, I usually make a less complicated quilt. I do try to give (and release attachment to) quilts as often as I can.

  10. #10
    Super Member Oklahoma Suzie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kluedesigns
    this seems to be a common concern with some people on the forum.

    lucky for me i don't ever feel this way because i've seen some really heartbreaking posts here from people just torn up that their loved ones didn't respect the quilt the way they should have. some people are on the verge of tears over this issue.

    maybe the key is to make and give a quilt gift that you feel you can truly give without any strings attached or bad feelings if its not cherished the way you expected.

    Good for you klue.

    if that translate to the construction and time spent working on it then make those changes or if its means buying less expensive fabrics make those changes.

    once a quilt leaves my possession i never give it another thought or concern - its their quilt now to do what ever they want with it - it truly makes no difference to me.

    i've seen my quilts hanging in places of honor in their new homes and i've seen them as pet blankets and i think both uses are wonderful.

  11. #11
    cjc
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    Junior Member cjc's Avatar
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    I agree with klue...When I am making a quilt to give someone, I don't have a problem giving it anyway. I hope that they appreciate the work involved in making it especially for them..but I want them to love it and use it, and if it gets ripped from use...well I can fix it.

    Now if I am making one because I love the fabric or the pattern, I can't even think about giving it away. It's mine!!!!

  12. #12
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    I used to feel that way. Now I just give them with the message to use them, enjoy them, and if you wear them out I'll make you another. I just made two for my DD to give to her fiancees mom and dad (divorced so there are two families) One said "thanks, we'll be using this" and the other did a dance and called me to thank me for the quilt and tell me how much they loved it. Both made me happy in different ways.

  13. #13
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    I only put a lot of effort in baby quilts that I know will be appreciated and used but not abused. I keep a stack of baby quilts I've made from printed panels for baby showers. The best time to give a child a quilt is in the toddler stage. They love it.

  14. #14
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    I once meade a quilt for a single man. He had put time and work into a grouup we belonged to. I wanted to do someting special for him. Lots of thought and work went into the quilt. Then, I wondered what he might do with it. The final thought was that the worst he would do is give it to his dog. His dog was much loved and cared for. So, even that wouldn't be too bad. He did love it and put it on his wall.

    You never know how people will react, so take a chance.

  15. #15
    Super Member ghostrider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsquilter
    His dog was much loved and cared for.
    You can generally judge how well someone will care for any type of gift by looking at how well they care for the things they already have.

    If you give a gift with conditions and expectations attached, then it really isn't a gift at all. It's a sale. And if the recipient does not pay you what it is that you expect, you are guaranteed to be disappointed and resentful.

  16. #16
    Super Member knlsmith's Avatar
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    when I make a quilt for someone else, it is fabrics that they like. Whether they have me pick it out and do the shopping or they do it themselves, it is still their taste not mine. I will, however, buy my own fabric that may be the same in case i like what they like. I could never make a quilt and give it a new home out of my favorite fabric unless I have enough fabric available for myself. Selfish, maybe. But it helps with the loss of a quilt. I am only human. :)

  17. #17
    Super Member Boston1954's Avatar
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    I was thinking about making one for a new neighbor who does not have much. My sister said that I cannot say anything if the kids take it outside and sit on it in the dirt. Now I am not so sure I want to do it.

  18. #18
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    If it is going to bother you, keep this quilt and make a quick quilt, with little time or effort into it and give them that one :D:D:D
    I make utility type quilts to be used and used and used...if it gets worn out, I will replace them :D:D:D No worries...no disappointments :D:D:D

  19. #19
    Super Member PurplePassion's Avatar
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    I just use less expensive fabrics to make them , when I am not sure how they will be used. Do we really know how the quilts we make for charities are used? We don't see where they go and how they are treated. So I don't let it bother me so much.

  20. #20
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    while I really do aspire to be able to give away a quilt that has taken many hours to complete, I'm not 100% there yet. So here's what I do in the meantime - For baby quilts I make them really simple, durable yet adorable using 5 or 6 inch squares of pastel chenille with coordinating baby flannel squares. The layout varies depending on what fabrics I'm using, my mood, etc. I do simple machine quilting - sometimes just in the ditch and tie a little bow on the chenille squares. I've loved every one I've made and have zero problem giving them away. I tell the recipient that the quilt was made to be used and can be washed like old jeans. It feels great to make and give away these little covers of love. In time I hope I'll be able to let go more easily of the quilts I treasure.

  21. #21
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    A basic utility quilt can withstand a lot of abuse. (I should know coz I sure abuse mine.) A quilt can be such a personal gift and we want this gift to be appreciated. The only strings that should be attached to a quilt is "to love it to death." Whatever that means to the recipient.

    If you suspect that the quilt will not be treated well or appreciated, get a Target gift card and use the quilt for a different occasion.

  22. #22
    Super Member retrogirl02's Avatar
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    Maybe practicing setting your quilts free with a charity would help. I'm not that attached to the quilts once they're out and about. I keep a journal with pics, though I rarely review it. As others have said, I send it on it's merry way with lots of love and no worry. I have heard back about one of my quilts that has traveled with it's little Miss from Indiana to Oregon...and now to Japan!! It's still going strong and doing it's job---keeping a little one wrapped in love. I never in my wildest dreams thought that my very first quilt would still be in tact, much less traveling farther than I have. Best Wishes and HAPPY QUILTING,
    RETRO.

  23. #23
    Super Member sewjoyce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boston1954
    I was thinking about making one for a new neighbor who does not have much. My sister said that I cannot say anything if the kids take it outside and sit on it in the dirt. Now I am not so sure I want to do it.
    :lol: :lol: Make the quilt and then go over and join the kids in their "afternoon tea" :lol: :lol:

  24. #24
    Super Member brookemarie19's Avatar
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    I agree, I made a bunny for my daughter when I was in a knitting stage and within a month she wanted to sell it for a QUARTER!!! That thing took forever to make since I'm so slow and I don't want to ever have that happen again..... especially when its a quilt(how could people not want to keep them forever, lol)

  25. #25
    Community Manager PatriceJ's Avatar
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    buy the bunny for the quarter. when she's ready to go away to college she'll want it back. offer to sell it to her for $10.

    better yet, wait until she's "with" her first child. you can easily get $50 for it then.

    :lol:

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