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Thread: Giving them away?

  1. #26
    Super Member Iluv2quilt's Avatar
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    I had babies in my early 20s and cherished everything given to me. I still have the wallhangings that were sewn for their rooms. Possibly you may give her the benefit of the doubt and happily give her the quilt.

  2. #27
    Super Member brookemarie19's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatriceJ
    buy the bunny for the quarter. when she's ready to go away to college she'll want it back. offer to sell it to her for $10.

    better yet, wait until she's "with" her first child. you can easily get $50 for it then.

    :lol:
    I like that idea... very smart, hehe.

  3. #28
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    I began quilting about 14 years ago. My first baby quilt was for DGD Josi who is now 13. Fabrics weren't the best and the batting the cheapest poly. This quilt is still going strong after years of daily use and picnics in the back yard. Last year Josi told me it was too small for her especially when she went to friends for sleepovers. I made her a Big Girl lap sized quilt using better fabrics and best poly batting I could find because this quilt will also be used, washed and dried many, many times. Only best fabrics, threads, batting and patterns are for older family and friends who will appreciate the time and effort I put into their quilts. Baby shower quilts are made with good fabrics and simple designs and quilting, and when the child gets older they get a lap size quilt. My nieces have all commented how much they and their babies like the quilts and how easy they are to take care of. All my grandkids have at least one quilt. All get lap sized for high school graduations and a few have twin sized ones for their beds. Now that one is getting married and another bought her own condo I'm thinking they'll need larger quilts - maybe some queen sized scrappy quilts that they can use as extra blankets. Have to keep adding to my scrap baskets. May in Jersey.

  4. #29
    Super Member Lneal's Avatar
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    As a new quilter you begin to realize how much goes into making a quilt and therefore, you also realize that there are different quilts for different people. There really is nothing wrong with feeling this way, you must put into a quilt what fits each occasion. Then like others have said "Let it go" You will still find times of disappointment in the circumstances but it's okay.

  5. #30
    Super Member rexie's Avatar
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    I think a cheater quilt would be good for her. I crocheted my granddaughter an afghan about 20 years ago when she was born and it would up under the Christmas tree for a skirt and then a dog bed.

  6. #31
    Super Member Eddie's Avatar
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    One thing I would suggest is that you include a nice card inside the gift package with a hand-written note about how you enjoyed the many hours of love you put into the quilt when making it for them, how you hope they enjoy it for years to come, etc., so that they get a sense of how you feel about it. Perhaps if they understand your sentiments about it, then it'll help them develop some of their own about it.

  7. #32
    Super Member Bill'sBonBon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatriceJ
    why do you assume she won't appreciate it or take care of it?

    if you have evidence to back up your assumption and you already know it will bother you then don't give her the quilt. save it for somebody else or donate it to charity.

    don't set yourself up for a case of the grumpies. ;-)
    Patrice says it all. I made crib quilt for my Husbands niece. It was a precious moments panel with borders. The borders had a design on the 2 end and one side. About 8 inches plain. I didn't want to waste it so what i did because it was a large crib quilt I used some software I had that printed out letters in all kinds of ways. Printed out her name and appliqued her name on that border. The mom was maybe 19 was so proud she put it up for a heirloom and said when she got old enough to appreciate it she would give it to her. Well I made it to use and really thought it would be used,battered you know cause of the youth . You can never tell untill you do it. Gave one just as nice to a lady in her 30's saw it outside in yard. So do a Patrice suggests and you will know the next time. By the way Baby is now 7 yrs. old and mom still has it put up. LOL. I lost the pic. of that quilt in hurricane Jeanne. I need to get in touch with the mom and tell her to take a pic. so I will have one.
    BillsBonBon

  8. #33
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    my dh really made a point of telling our grandson how many hours of "intense labor" went into his quilt. I had to turn my head and smile. He has just recently started to pay attention to the time I spent sewing.Too funny!
    I know how you feel though, it is tough to put so much time in something and wonder if it will be appreciated. I decided from now on to just enjoy the process and try not to think about it once it's gone...sigh
    Ditter

  9. #34
    Super Member Ilovemydogs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ghostrider
    Quote Originally Posted by bsquilter
    His dog was much loved and cared for.
    You can generally judge how well someone will care for any type of gift by looking at how well they care for the things they already have.

    If you give a gift with conditions and expectations attached, then it really isn't a gift at all. It's a sale. And if the recipient does not pay you what it is that you expect, you are guaranteed to be disappointed and resentful.
    Nice way to put that! I agree.

  10. #35
    Senior Member dlf0122quilting's Avatar
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    I know it is difficult to give a quilt to someone who you believe will not appreciate it. It has to come from the heart, not the head. I make hundreds of charity quilts each year and with each one I try to say a prayer or thought of who might be the recipient as I am making it and that way I know I have my heart in the right place. That baby will be kept warm and snuggly even if the mother does not appreciate it. You will also have the joy of giving from your heart. Bless you for putting that little baby first.

  11. #36
    Bev
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    Super Member Bev's Avatar
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    The only time I ever changed my mind about giving a quilt to someone was a few years ago when my husband's neice had her first baby. I had once foolishly told her that I sometimes found vintage fabric for my quilts in older clothing at thrift shops.
    When she was "expecting" she told me to please not make her a quilt using "dead people's" clothes. If I wanted to make her baby a quilt it had to be made with freshly purchased, new fabric.
    I gave her a gift that I purchased for her, but it wasn't a quilt. I have felt funny about her ever since.

  12. #37
    Super Member Eddie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bev
    When she was "expecting" she told me to please not make her a quilt using "dead people's" clothes. If I wanted to make her baby a quilt it had to be made with freshly purchased, new fabric.
    Oh, my! :shock: Just when I think I've about seen and heard it all, I realize that I haven't!

  13. #38
    Senior Member dlf0122quilting's Avatar
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    I have a cousin that purposely goes to estate sales to buy what she calls "dead people's clothes" and that is all she wears. I know this is not quilt related but I just had to giggle a little at your posting.

    I would love it if someone gave me a quilt with "antique" fabrics in it. I treasure the quilts that my mom and my grandma made and I inherited. Grandma's has silk flowers appliqued on it and the silk is shredding. I took it to an appraiser and asked what I could do about it and she said..."Honey, just enjoy it and know that your grandma loved you".

  14. #39
    Super Member dglvr's Avatar
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    Last year I made a rag quilt the shape of a dog to give to a girl here in town that was alot of time and money and really wished I had kept it. I put hangers on the back so she would put it on the wall and thats not where it is now. She put it in the crib and the baby sleeps on it. They were away for a week so I was taking care of their dogs and took a peek and seeing the shape it was in I just cried. She is pregnant again and I will not make her anything ever again. I was making a baby blanket for someone else recently and she seen it and asked if it was for her new baby and I just laughed and said yeah ahhhhh NO.
    Some people just don't realize the time and money spent to make quilts. I hope she appretiates the quilt your making for her.

  15. #40
    Senior Member Ragann63's Avatar
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    My 21 year old daughter just finished a baby quilt for her 21 year old friend. The friend couldn't even wait until it was finished to see it! She came over to the house while my daughter was still working on it. She is too excited. I guess it truly depends on the person who is receiving it, but the gift and love is the ultimate reason for the giving, not what the person chooses to do with it. Finish it, give it and feel good about it.

  16. #41
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by diannemc
    Do you have trouble giving them away? I am making a quilt for a someone who is having a baby in Feb..She is a young girl and don't think she will understand how much time has been put in making it..probably will chunk it once the baby is older or if doesn't go with her decor in baby room...The closer I get to finishing it I am having second thoughts..Now don't get me wrong I wanted to make something for her but I wish I had done a simple quilt..and smaller..Do I have the wrong attitude about this....?? I am new to quilting and didn't realize how time goes into quilting...I will give it to her but was wondering for next time what do ya'll do for gifts? And what size?
    I would make a simpler quilt for her and save the finished quilt for a different special occasion. Some people really do not understand quilts until later in life; some never understand their value. A friendship can be damaged when someone mistreats a quilt! (See other posts in this thread for examples.) It's better all around to give a gift that is appropriate to the giftee, even if that means a store-bought gift.

  17. #42
    Senior Member vjengels's Avatar
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    If I am in the mood to make a quilt to give away, I don't put alot of work into a gift for someone I don't have a strong emotional attachment to, particularly a baby quilt, I'll use a large pinwheel block,or something easy, and maybe tie it ( I prefer to hand quilt).
    The people I chum around with don't do anything by hand, so they're still impressed. I get the satisfaction of passing something handmade, and no heart ache about the loss. Win, win.

  18. #43
    Junior Member dusty222's Avatar
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    I take a picture of all my quilts and put the pictures in an album. That way the quilts are mine forever. All the quilts I have made for family members have been hung on a wall to be admired. Nice, but I would have loved to see a child dragging one of them everywhere he went. I just made a quilt for my dog and I get much more pleasure out of watching him bury himself in and under it then I do seeing a quilt hung on a wall.

  19. #44

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    If you think the person will not appreciate the quilt. Buy them a baby set of bottles to use or explain to them that when the baby outgrows the quilt and they don't want it any more please pass it down to some one that can use it in their family. For example I come from a family of 13 kids and thats how I got most of my clothes was hand me downs.

  20. #45
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    I make really simple quilts if I'm not sure how the receiver
    will care for it. (i.e. 5" squares, tied not quilted and
    maybe some embroidery on it). More complicated ones for
    people I know will love it. Out of the 5 memory quilts I
    have to make before Christmas 3 of them will be super
    simple, the other 2 will be more complicated. Once they
    are given I don't worrry about them, just go on to the next
    one.
    Catlady

  21. #46
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    Give it to her. Put a nice label on the back, explaining who it is for, why it was made, the love that went into making it, and who you are. After that it is out of your hands. My first quilt was one for my first grandbaby - a boy who is the light of my life. Because of a broken ankle and other issues I couldn't finish it until he was 7 month old, but my daughter just cried when she first saw it. Every time I visited them for close to 2 years she would talk about how much they all loved it, and how Davis, my darlin' little grandboy, would snuggle on all the "minkee" parts. A couple of months ago I went to visit them and Davis was in a "big boy" bed (he's three in a few days), with a Thomas the Train sheet set and comforter. The quilt I made was folded over the foot board, but I just about lost my breath when I saw it. It looked like it had been washed with something dark green/dark blue. The once beautiful pastel blocks were pretty dingy. But.....he still snuggles up with it when he is cold, and he will always know that his Nom Nom (Davis speak for Grandma) made it for him!!!

  22. #47

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    I have been making baby quilts for our local hospital's Neo-Natal Unit for 8 years. I have seen first hand how the Mothers have cried when they realized that the quilt belonged to their baby and was going home with him. I have also given quilts to the young girls at church, I have never felt the need to worry about what would become of my gift. I make my quilts 36" X 36", or for a larger size 38" X 42".
    SEWTOO

  23. #48
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    For me when I give a quilt I label it for them telling them who made it and what year it was made. Then I usually include a card telling them what machine(s) were used in making the quilt and that it was done on a treadle.

    As soon as they hear it was done on a treadle with a 100yo machine or older they realize that it is something special and then the questions start coming in. :-D :-D

    To them its like owning a piece of living history and with one made completely on a treadle it takes on a certain personality and you can actually feel and see the love that went into it.

    Billy

  24. #49
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    Just a suggestion for next time why not give her a beautiful card with a gift certificate for one baby quilt and than sit down with her and discuss color size etc..

  25. #50
    Super Member topper1's Avatar
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    i know that feeling----decide if you want to give it out of goodness and let it go or keep it for someone else special. either way u will find a way to let it go. u are a good person for making it.

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